Practical Life

I have been trying to encourage Daisy to engage in more of the "practical life" activities that are at the heart of the Montessori curriculum... apparently she hasn't displayed much interest in this area yet at school. She loves the book nook, of course, but she also seems drawn to the Math/Sensory area, and today in fact she told me that was her "favorite." She's done some painting, too, in the arts section. But, apparently practical life is neglected. So I've been having her help in the kitchen more, and she seems pretty enthusiastic. She actually helps me with dishes.

Today Giuliana, one of Daisy's teachers, gave me the treat of getting to stay a little longer (past 8:30, the parent kick-out time) in the classroom. I was thrilled, because I know I've been guilty of overstaying in the class and I've been pretty sure it's frowned upon. There was even a little note attached to the Friday Packet mentioning Oak Room parents staying too long, and I was positive I was one of the people that was meant for. So, I was pleasantly surprised when Giuliana said I could stay for a bit this morning and watch Daisy do some "work" (as they call it in Montessori).

It was delightful! She went and unrolled a mat, which is what they're supposed to do; I noticed how impatient I felt seeing how slowly Daisy unrolled and flattened hers, and how tempted I was to show her the "right" way to do it. Giuliana pointed out the importance of being patient and letting her do it her own way, and sure enough, she succeeded in time. Then Giuliana showed me something she and Daisy have been working on. First, Daisy goes and fetches some pretty heavy wooden blocks from the shelf and carries them back to her mat. Giuliana told me this lifting and carrying was a Practical Life activity, even though it wasn't occurring in that particular section of the room. Some of the blocks were quite heavy, and Daisy dropped one, but she was able to pick it up and carry it over to the mat. Then, one by one, she went back and fetched all the others and lined them up in order of size, like a staircase. I was impressed by Daisy's ability to stay focused on the task and to see it through to completion without much (or any, actually) egging on by me or the teacher.

When the blocks were all lined up, Daisy got a marble (the last part of the activity), placed it just so, and it traveled down the wooden staircase, striking a different musical note with each block. A simple thing, but quite lovely, and I saw how the fine motor skill of placing the marble in just the right place was cultivated. I think it also takes some fine motor skills to line the blocks up just right so they make the staircase. So Montessori, the whole thing: simple, seemingly, without a lot of bells and whistles, but with a lot of levels and areas cultivated, and rather beautiful. I was so proud to see my girl doing her work, and to have some glimpse into her day.

Oh, and there's one other thing I got out of it. Two boys came over and sat close to Daisy's mat while she was doing her activity, and I guess they were talking, not very loudly or anything. Nevertheless, Daisy told them a couple times to be quieter and to back off of her area. I thought this was kind of unpleasant, and I turned to Giuliana and asked, "What do you do when this happens?" She said, "We watch." They don't do anything, in other words, unless really necessary-- and no action was necessary, Giuliana thought. She told me it was good for Daisy to be asserting how she felt, even though yes, it could have been phrased more nicely (with pleases or excuse mes). She was in favor of me not leaping in to squash what Daisy was saying, and she felt it was okay for Daisy to need quiet and to want space to do her task. I really appreciated getting this perspective from Giuliana, because I think I can be too quick to jump in and correct Daisy for not being what I think of as polite or accommodating enough. It worries me that I might be squashing her assertive side, but I don't always know if I should intervene. I appreciate learning from Daisy's teachers about patience, about observing rather than intervening all the time, and about letting Daisy create some boundaries and space for herself instead of perpetually training her to give others what they want. That doesn't mean, of course, that I should stop wanting her to be polite and considerate, thoughtful of others-- but maybe I should be allowing her a little more assertiveness. I think I worry too much about her being a "good girl" and socially skilled. These things are important, but so are other things.

As I've mentioned in other places... my girl loves math activities! How about that?

Split lip

Today (the day after Halloween), Daisy tripped over her gommy's foot on the sidewalk and split open her lip. There was a lot of blood, and her lip is swollen, but it seems like no serious damage was done--thank God, since she already has one broken tooth. I called Kaiser and they wanted me to bring her in anyway; they said they take facial injuries very seriously and they want to make absolutely sure it's okay. So they booked an appointment for her at the Minor Injuries Clinic. She was amazingly brave and good at the doctor's office and chatted up a storm with the nurse and doctor. This was on no nap, too. I was a very proud mama. The doctor prescribed POPSICLES to keep the swelling down; hooray!

I almost can't believe how stoical Daisy has been at the doctor and dentist. After waiting in line for an hour and a half the other evening for her swine flu vaccine, she did not cry one single tear when she finally got it. No protests, no crying. She just took the shot without a word (her expression changed a little, but that was it), and then asked for her sticker. Unfortunately, they were out of them by that time.

Gommy couldn't stop saying how much more stoical Daisy is than she was as a girl. But Gommy says I, Daisy's mother, was also quite a stoic. Clearly, I am still the essence of stoicism (hahahahaha).

Halloween pictures

The swan getting ready for an evening of Halloween festivities


Rocker Dada and Swan Baby

Witch Mama and Swan Baby

There are never any pictures of me, since I'm the one taking them, so I put in another one for good measure. The other day Daisy said to me, "Mama, how come you weren't there?" (We were looking at pictures of some event.) I explained that I WAS there, behind the camera, but it made me sad. She's going to have photo albums full of pictures without Mama in them and it seems like I wasn't there. So... here are a few of me, to make up for the previous absence.

Our neighbor Robyn had the great idea of having trick or treating in our apartment building; she gave out pumpkin stickers and those who wanted to participate stuck them on their doors. Lots of people had them up, so there were a lot of doors to knock on (among six floors).

The witch and the swan trick or treating in our apartment building!

More trick or treating in our apartment building

Our wonderful neighbors: Robyn, Eli, Vincent, Fia

On our way out for more trick or treating and the "Haunting" House (as Daze called it last year)

Headed to the Halloween parade and Haunted House in Sausalito

Catching up with the Halloween parade

Swan police on patrol

Halloween friends--we found Chilali and Eden at the parade in Sausalito

Halloween summary

Daisy had a lot of activities this Halloween: her preschool Halloween party, a pumpkin patch with a hayride, a pumpkin-carving party with friends, trick or treating in our apartment building, and a Halloween parade and haunted house, tonight. I'm probably leaving something out, too.

We had a great time tonight. I am too tired to adequately summarize, but here is the basic plot. I was a witch, Mark was a rocker, and Daisy was a swan. Our neighbor Robyn had the great idea of having trick or treating in the building this year and she arranged it quite beautifully, distributing pumpkin stickers that people could put on their doors if they wanted to participate. A lot of people did, so we had plenty of doors to knock on. Daisy did some trick or treating here with her little neighbors Eli, Vincent, Fia, and Marco. Afterward, we went by the Garden House Cafe; the proprietor, Jeanette (Daisy calls her "Jet") had asked us to stop by for trick or treating. I appreciate this, as we live in a big city and you want to feel a part of your own neighborhood. Ever since we've been going to a neighborhood ballet class, we've had a tradition of stopping by the Garden House Cafe afterward, and Jeanette has been so friendly and welcoming. So it made us happy to stop by her place and show Daisy's costume.

Then we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge and went to the Sausalito Halloween Parade and Haunted House. Daisy has been looking forward to this for months and months. It's what we did last year, and she really wanted to do it again (that's why we went there instead of doing something in the city itself). It was a lot of fun, but I will say that Daisy was more frightened of the Haunted House than she was last year. When the ghouls reached out for her and said spooky things, she clung to me (I was carrying her, as she also asked me to do last year) and at times said she wanted to turn around and go back. Oddly, she also burst out laughing several times and was particularly amused by a pirate who was supposed to be scary. As soon as we emerged into the light, she said she wanted to do it again, despite the horrible fear she had experienced. So we got in line and did it again. This time, she was at least as frightened as the first time, and when we were finished, she said that was enough of that and it was too scary. It was all rather contradictory. Guess I'll have to wait till tomorrow morning to find out what her final verdict on it was. She was so tired when we put her to bed, she could barely speak.

I will post more pictures tomorrow.

Halloween

High Spirits

I have finally discerned the exact meaning of the expression "high-spirited" in my three-year-old's brain.

She told me one morning that Randall, her "classer" (as she puts it), is "a very high-spirited boy." Naturally I assumed she knew what she was talking about and that Randall must be very energetic, outgoing, extroverted, etc. But when I suggested some other "classers" who might also be described as "high-spirited," she didn't seem to pick up on it so much. Always, it was Randall who was high-spirited, and also Fritz from The Nutcracker.

Well, on Friday when I was driving her to school, she mentioned that our neighbor Eli is high-spirited. Then, after a pause, she told me that the other day she broke a little glass Japanese figurine (which Dada fixed with Krazy Glue) and she observed, "That was a very high-spirited thing to do."

Eureka! All the pieces fell into place. Fritz breaks the nutcracker (OF COURSE); Eli has broken some of Daisy's toys, including a pink flowered flashlight that she mentions all the time; and Randall has dropped something at school and broken it (something she's mentioned offhandedly a couple times). "High-spirited" means LIKELY TO BREAK SOMETHING.

Daisy and Bad Guys

Daisy is not comfortable with the idea of bad guys in books, and she almost always wants to make villainous characters good. So, for example, tonight we were reading _Dr. DeSoto Goes to Africa_, by William Stieg, and we came across the character of Honkitonk, the villainous rhesus monkey who kidnaps Dr. DeSoto. Daisy asked warily if he was nice. I explained that well, no, he wasn't very nice because he was kidnapping Dr.DeSoto and taking him away. Daisy thought about it and then said, "I think he's nice. He has a lot of good ideas."

Daisy does this a lot with "bad guys"; she revises their motives and characteristics to make them more sympathetic. She also is VERY sensitive about naughty behavior. She has told me many times that she does NOT want to see the part of The Nutcracker in which Fritz accidentally breaks the nutcracker. We have discussed this moment many times because we're going to see the ballet live this Christmas, and Daisy is planning to hide her head on my shoulder for that part.

I tried to explain to her that Fritz isn't really bad; he's just mischievous and high-spirited. Daisy really picked up on that idea, and now she sometimes reports to me that various little boys in her class are like Fritz. The other day she told me, "Randall has high spirits." (He is a fellow Oak Room "classer.") I have learned that she really likes Randall and is drawn to the "high-spirited" boys in her classroom. I find this interesting, because she is soooooo different from that description. It's definitely a case of an opposite attraction.

Vaccine

After our parent-teacher conference, we took Daisy to Kaiser and got her the H1N1 vaccine. We waited in line for an hour and a half. It's kind of unbelievable that kids wait that long, and Daisy was good about it. Still, it was a rather hellish scene--tons of people lined up down one hallway, then around a corner and down another, then around another corner and down another, and everyone's got a restless, sometimes actively unhappy kid. Then there were the kids filing out from the laboratory, crying and wailing after having gotten the shot.

It was the first day that the injection was available. I guess the nasal spray version has been available for a few weeks, but I didn't want to do that one because it's a live virus and Daisy's pediatrician couldn't recommend it to me. She told me she was "on the fence" about it, and that just wasn't enough confidence for me to go ahead and get it. But I am very happy to have gotten Daisy the dead virus vaccine (the injection) on the very first day of its availability. She has to get another shot in a month. She did not cry or show any distress getting the shot. My little stoic!

A few bits from our parent-teacher conference

Apparently, Daisy told her teachers that when she grows up, she wants to be a truckdriver and that Mark and I will have to ride in the back seat! We have heard her say she wants to be a truckdriver before, but having us ride in the back is a new one. Another funny anecdote was that one of Daisy's teachers, Giuliana, asked her to "teach" a lesson to another little boy--a matching game that Giuliana had shown Daisy some time back. Well, it seems that Daisy completely forgot the rules to the game, but nevertheless proceeded to "teach" the little boy an elaborate lesson, which was made compelling by her big vocabulary and expressive personality, so that he was spellbound and got into the lesson(ha)! Although she got that particular lesson wrong, I was sort of pleased to hear that she just made up a lesson of her own, in the absence of the correct information-- and Giuliana said that her verbal abilities will make her an asset in helping teach other kids (I'm guessing this mainly means next year, when she'll be one of the older kids).

It was a very positive experience (the conference). I had been a little worried because I kind of knew what was coming: Daisy spends a lot of time with books at school and needs to be more physical and get stronger. All that's true: she is hypotonic, as we learned from a physical therapist years ago, and so it is actually harder for her to do some of the same physical tasks as other kids her age. I was glad I got to tell her teachers that she loves dancing and is very active on the playground, because they would have no way of knowing that. Nevertheless, her fine motor skills need work and we need to give her greater responsibility for doing things for herself (like putting her own clothes on).

They were very kind and said some things that made me feel very happy; we learned, for instance, that Daisy seems happy at school and they feel she is confident and happy with herself. (I guess that's good, the last part?) They told us she is polite, cooperative, treats others well, and shows kindness. As I had learned at an earlier conference, she often asks to observe other children doing an activity and will sit at the outskirts of a group (though Jolanta added that this sometimes leads to her joining in). But we need to encourage her to do more with fine motor skills, and to do more independently. I left with a good list of ideas we can try.

Oh, I was happy to hear she's been doing the balance beam at school. That's a physical task. And she has one fine motor skills task down pat: turning pages! She's been good at that for a long time.

I am glad she's at a school where she's in such clearly good hands. For a long time now I've been feeling good about the whole experience; I feel sure she's learning good things, and also, her ability to adjust to a new situation after a rocky start is very heartening. You never know something like that about your child till you try it. And really, she was only distressed for a week (and then in low-level distress for one more week). Since then--since week three--she's been actively happy at school.

Halloween party

Today there was a party for Daisy's preschool at the Julius Kahn playground in the Presidio. Parent volunteers decorated the clubhouse and made it spectacularly Halloween-y. We had a great time, although we missed Henry, who was sick and couldn't make it. Daisy had told us she wanted to be a "white bird," consistently, and then she specified "a swan." It is hard to find or make a swan costume, let me tell you, but Aunt Maggie and Gommy came up with this one. It's true that the wings were a bit angel-like, so some people guessed "angel" for the costume, but most people saw the swan pretty quickly. Only problem was that she was shedding feathers pretty profusely (and she bopped some folks with her wide wings... good thing she is not the most rambunctious child, or she could really have done some damage with her wingspan). As you will see if you look at some of these pics, she had her face painted beautifully at the party and then was a truly spectacular swan.

Mark surprised me by arriving dressed as Ace Frehley from KISS. He has the costume ready to go at any time due to his four years playing guitar in a Bay area KISS tribute band. People were amazed that he possessed platform boots like that. Some of them wanted a pair for themselves. Most of the children were awed; we think only one cried (not a kid from our party, but some poor forlorn soul out on the playground who spied Ace unexpectedly).

Daisy getting ready for the party at home



Arriving at the party

Daisy and one of her much-loved teachers, Jolanta

Dad arrives, dressed as Ace Frehley from the band KISS, and tries to steal the show from his OWN DAUGHTER (with Jester Curt, one of the directors of the school)

Daisy and Randall, a little boy she is quite fond of from her class

Daisy and friend Sasha (the princess)

Daisy and friend William (Superman)


Daisy and friend Andrew (Luke Skywalker)



Daisy in her spectacular face paint


Daddy Ace chats with Giuliana, another one of Daisy's wonderful teachers

Daisy and Julia, another friend from her class



Ace and Gommy, the Baker

Ace is tired after chasing the swan around the playground on platform boots

Gilroy Gardens

We had a great day at Gilroy Gardens with Adrienne, Eric, and the adorable Phoebe (aka "Phoeber" and "Fifi" by Daisy, but now she has her name down perfectly) . Daisy rode two merry-go-rounds, one of which was miniature with little horses that the kids could ride unattended by an adult. She also went twice on a kiddie rollercoaster pictured below (with fish cars). I have to say, Daisy was never the most daring kid on the playground but she has really impressed me with her bravery at amusement parks. She is definitely braver than either Mark or I. At Funderland in Sacramento she went on every single ride that she was tall enough to qualify for, including a hairy rollercoaster that went backward part of the time. And I have no doubt she would have done a lot more at Gilroy Gardens, too, if time had allowed.

Tired but happy

Some updates in my life...

1) I am very happy that I've been exercising more. I have been going to a yoga class with my friend Dena, and I have a Cardio class at the YMCA that I am really enjoying. This has been soooo good for me. The only problem is that I seem to have a pulled muscle in my chest; I noticed it before I started all the exercise, but I guess the exercise has exacerbated it a little. I hope it doesn't cramp my style. Now that I've gotten into the swing of things, I do not want to stop.

2) I am happy that I have been doing pretty well in school so far. I have been happy with my grades. I completely humiliated myself in my Cross-cultural Counseling class the other day, but I think I will save that for another post-- one that doesn't have the word "happy" in the title. I had a paper and a presentation due this week, so it was a hectic week and I'm glad I survived. I had a bit of an anxiety attack before the presentation, but I was able to come out of it and still do my part (not that I did a brilliant job or anything). Now I just have to figure out how to deal with having anxiety attacks when, really, I don't think there's any reason to be nervous. I was prepared, I was ready to go, I was not afraid of my teachers or my classmates, and I WANTED to get it over with. But I still had the little anxiety attack. Why does my body have to go all crazy on me like that when my brain is right where it needs to be? Irritating.

3) I am happy about the neat stuff I've been doing lately. Last night I got to see a preview of Arwen's new play at the Magic Theatre at Fort Mason, Mrs. Whitney; saw it with Ann Marie and we loved it. It was engaging, funny (in a dark way), and very well acted, with dialogue that was well done and great characters (which I love). Then, today I got to go to Gilroy Gardens with Mark and Daisy, where we met Adrienne, Eric, and Phoebe. It is a fun place. We did two different merry-go-rounds (one was miniature, so the kids could go on by themselves), about twelve times since carousels are Daisy's favorite thing on earth, and Daisy did a little rollercoaster with fish cars twice. We had a picnic and walked around a bit, but not as much as I would have liked, as Mark had to get home for an event. I will post some pictures. I wish we could have done more stuff, but next time. Oh, and I have to put this good energy out into the universe for an act of totally unexpected kindness from a stranger: one of the admissions people, when she saw us standing outside staring in total bafflement at the prices and thinking of not going in, waved me over, slipped me a piece of paper with a special deal on it, and gave us the most unbelievable discount. I think the total price for us all to get in would have been over a hundred dollars, and we got in for under thirty. Why did she do that? Random kindness and sympathy for strangers. What a good person.

4) I am happy that Daisy's been doing so much better in preschool, liking her teachers and making some friends, and hopefully learning things, too (it's kind of hard to figure out what she's up to, but I know we'll learn more at our official parent-teacher conference on Monday). And I am happy about the Friday tradition we've got going with Dena and Henry and some other moms and kids from the preschool; we've been checking out different playgrounds every Friday after school and it's been lots of fun. Yesterday we did the fabulous Golden Gate Park children's playground and carousel, and on other weeks we've done Julius Kahn, Rossi, and Rochambeau playgrounds. It reminds me I am lucky to live in a city with so much to do (as some weeks I get to pining for the country and for peace and quiet and easy parking, etc. etc. etc.).

5) I am happy my cousin Rachel visited me last week.

These are in no particular order and there are lots of other things I'm happy about, but I will stop there for now.