Tough times

Daisy is pretty sick. She had a bad cough for a few weeks, and I was starting to worry because it didn't seem to be getting any better. It was a very congested-sounding cough, way down deep in the chest. But I hadn't gotten *too* worried because she didn't have a fever. She would cough for an hour or more at night, though, and was having a hard time getting rest. Then she started vomiting, on Sunday I guess it was, at the Rossi Playground while we were also taking care of our friends' baby. That night she vomited again, in her sleep, and on the advice of the Kaiser advice line, we decided to take her to the doctor the next day.

As it turns out, the doctor told us she has viral bronchitis and that she has a wheeze and is having trouble breathing, which is a definite reason to take your child in. I feel like a bit of a failure, because I'd had the thought that her breathing had sounded labored but had not allowed myself to believe it. Anyway, though, our doctor said it was good we brought her in when we did because the problem would have only gotten worse and worse till a real breathing crisis finally brought us to the doctor. She prescribed us an inhaler with a contraption attached to it--a spacer, I think it's called. Because Daisy is so little and can't use an inhaler properly, we have to put a mask over her face and administer 3 puffs of Albuterol every four hours. She has to take ten breaths for each puff. We have a follow-up in a week to see if her breathing gets better. I can really hear it now, the labored breathing, especially following a coughing fit.

Then, today while I was at class, she vomited again and then broke out in rash all over her ankles, legs, and backside--big red itchy welts. She just really seems to be in bad shape, falling apart on all levels. Luckily, I think we've gotten the rash under control. The advice line said to give her children's Benadryl, and the rash seemed to improve a lot afterward.

I am worried, though. She can't seem to hold anything in her stomach; she can't sleep well because her cough wakes her up; she is having trouble breathing, and I'm concerned that she might develop some kind of chronic asthma-like condition out of it. Daisy's health is of course my top priority, and all else seems relatively insignificant when she is unwell, but an added stress is that it's hard for me to get work done for my graduate program when all this is going on. We spent hours with the doctor yesterday, figuring out what was wrong, waiting for prescriptions to be filled, and then getting instructions on how to use the inhaler. Everyone's pretty wiped out here and worried about Daisy.

Daisy's Day

On our way to ballet class

At ballet class

Horsing around at Garden House Cafe after ballet class

Then going to the Conservatory of Flowers, at Daze's request


Sitting in big tree outside Conservatory of Flowers

Bad day

Please don't worry. It just was one.

Good day

I actually remembered my camera today, but the batteries died. So it is not my fault that I have no record of today's fun. I wish I did, though. There was no school today, so I took Daisy to Carol Wei's Monday ballet class. Afterward, she specifically requested "tofu" (!), so I took her to a Japanese restaurant on Balboa. You should have seen this child slurping seaweed (which she calls "spinach," but that's fine). Then we picked up our neighbors and good friends Robyn and Eli and we drove to the Hyde Street Pier. The kids had so much fun running all over and exploring the old ships--the Balclutha and the Eureka. At the end we bought them ice cream sundaes in Ghirardelli Square and went home. It was quite a day.

Daisy always refers to Eli as her brother, and when she saw him today from the car window she declared, "Eli is very cute." She also told me her classmate Nate "is a very exciting boy" (after a fun time spent with him at a birthday party on Sunday). She has been saying all kinds of funny and interesting things lately, and I am far behind in recording it all. When we left the birthday party, she was riding on Mark's shoulders and Nate said he would like to ride on Daisy's shoulders; Daisy said, "That would make me very happy."

I have noticed her drawing a lot of connections between books and real life in ways that seem advanced to me... for example, I had told her a bit about the story of The Wizard of Oz, and she asked repeatedly about what happens to the bad witch (melting). After a pause she said, "You know, sometimes I am not very nice." (She often says, "You know" and "Because.") And she mentioned a specific incident from over a week ago in which she knew she hadn't been very nice. I realized she was drawing a connection between the wicked witch's punishment and her own not-nice side! She said she would try harder to be nice, but I tried to reassure her that she wouldn't melt if she wasn't nice and also that people, unlike some characters in books, are never all good or all bad. I hope that helped.

Last gasp of Halloween

I forgot to post pictures of our various jack-o-lanterns and other pumpkin friends. So here they are, belatedly.

Not to be cruel, but there was just something not quite right about Mark's jack-o-lantern. He reminded me of a picked-on kid at school (and thus, I loved him all the more).

My pumpkin(far left), on the other hand, was really surprisingly mean-looking. I hacked away at him with a very blunt instrument, and he came out looking like a seasoned prizefighter. I guess that says a lot.

Yeah... and in case you were wondering, they were moldy after ONE DAY. Don't get the idea that I let them sit around for weeks or anything.

Practical Life

I have been trying to encourage Daisy to engage in more of the "practical life" activities that are at the heart of the Montessori curriculum... apparently she hasn't displayed much interest in this area yet at school. She loves the book nook, of course, but she also seems drawn to the Math/Sensory area, and today in fact she told me that was her "favorite." She's done some painting, too, in the arts section. But, apparently practical life is neglected. So I've been having her help in the kitchen more, and she seems pretty enthusiastic. She actually helps me with dishes.

Today Giuliana, one of Daisy's teachers, gave me the treat of getting to stay a little longer (past 8:30, the parent kick-out time) in the classroom. I was thrilled, because I know I've been guilty of overstaying in the class and I've been pretty sure it's frowned upon. There was even a little note attached to the Friday Packet mentioning Oak Room parents staying too long, and I was positive I was one of the people that was meant for. So, I was pleasantly surprised when Giuliana said I could stay for a bit this morning and watch Daisy do some "work" (as they call it in Montessori).

It was delightful! She went and unrolled a mat, which is what they're supposed to do; I noticed how impatient I felt seeing how slowly Daisy unrolled and flattened hers, and how tempted I was to show her the "right" way to do it. Giuliana pointed out the importance of being patient and letting her do it her own way, and sure enough, she succeeded in time. Then Giuliana showed me something she and Daisy have been working on. First, Daisy goes and fetches some pretty heavy wooden blocks from the shelf and carries them back to her mat. Giuliana told me this lifting and carrying was a Practical Life activity, even though it wasn't occurring in that particular section of the room. Some of the blocks were quite heavy, and Daisy dropped one, but she was able to pick it up and carry it over to the mat. Then, one by one, she went back and fetched all the others and lined them up in order of size, like a staircase. I was impressed by Daisy's ability to stay focused on the task and to see it through to completion without much (or any, actually) egging on by me or the teacher.

When the blocks were all lined up, Daisy got a marble (the last part of the activity), placed it just so, and it traveled down the wooden staircase, striking a different musical note with each block. A simple thing, but quite lovely, and I saw how the fine motor skill of placing the marble in just the right place was cultivated. I think it also takes some fine motor skills to line the blocks up just right so they make the staircase. So Montessori, the whole thing: simple, seemingly, without a lot of bells and whistles, but with a lot of levels and areas cultivated, and rather beautiful. I was so proud to see my girl doing her work, and to have some glimpse into her day.

Oh, and there's one other thing I got out of it. Two boys came over and sat close to Daisy's mat while she was doing her activity, and I guess they were talking, not very loudly or anything. Nevertheless, Daisy told them a couple times to be quieter and to back off of her area. I thought this was kind of unpleasant, and I turned to Giuliana and asked, "What do you do when this happens?" She said, "We watch." They don't do anything, in other words, unless really necessary-- and no action was necessary, Giuliana thought. She told me it was good for Daisy to be asserting how she felt, even though yes, it could have been phrased more nicely (with pleases or excuse mes). She was in favor of me not leaping in to squash what Daisy was saying, and she felt it was okay for Daisy to need quiet and to want space to do her task. I really appreciated getting this perspective from Giuliana, because I think I can be too quick to jump in and correct Daisy for not being what I think of as polite or accommodating enough. It worries me that I might be squashing her assertive side, but I don't always know if I should intervene. I appreciate learning from Daisy's teachers about patience, about observing rather than intervening all the time, and about letting Daisy create some boundaries and space for herself instead of perpetually training her to give others what they want. That doesn't mean, of course, that I should stop wanting her to be polite and considerate, thoughtful of others-- but maybe I should be allowing her a little more assertiveness. I think I worry too much about her being a "good girl" and socially skilled. These things are important, but so are other things.

As I've mentioned in other places... my girl loves math activities! How about that?

Split lip

Today (the day after Halloween), Daisy tripped over her gommy's foot on the sidewalk and split open her lip. There was a lot of blood, and her lip is swollen, but it seems like no serious damage was done--thank God, since she already has one broken tooth. I called Kaiser and they wanted me to bring her in anyway; they said they take facial injuries very seriously and they want to make absolutely sure it's okay. So they booked an appointment for her at the Minor Injuries Clinic. She was amazingly brave and good at the doctor's office and chatted up a storm with the nurse and doctor. This was on no nap, too. I was a very proud mama. The doctor prescribed POPSICLES to keep the swelling down; hooray!

I almost can't believe how stoical Daisy has been at the doctor and dentist. After waiting in line for an hour and a half the other evening for her swine flu vaccine, she did not cry one single tear when she finally got it. No protests, no crying. She just took the shot without a word (her expression changed a little, but that was it), and then asked for her sticker. Unfortunately, they were out of them by that time.

Gommy couldn't stop saying how much more stoical Daisy is than she was as a girl. But Gommy says I, Daisy's mother, was also quite a stoic. Clearly, I am still the essence of stoicism (hahahahaha).

Halloween pictures

The swan getting ready for an evening of Halloween festivities


Rocker Dada and Swan Baby

Witch Mama and Swan Baby

There are never any pictures of me, since I'm the one taking them, so I put in another one for good measure. The other day Daisy said to me, "Mama, how come you weren't there?" (We were looking at pictures of some event.) I explained that I WAS there, behind the camera, but it made me sad. She's going to have photo albums full of pictures without Mama in them and it seems like I wasn't there. So... here are a few of me, to make up for the previous absence.

Our neighbor Robyn had the great idea of having trick or treating in our apartment building; she gave out pumpkin stickers and those who wanted to participate stuck them on their doors. Lots of people had them up, so there were a lot of doors to knock on (among six floors).

The witch and the swan trick or treating in our apartment building!

More trick or treating in our apartment building

Our wonderful neighbors: Robyn, Eli, Vincent, Fia

On our way out for more trick or treating and the "Haunting" House (as Daze called it last year)

Headed to the Halloween parade and Haunted House in Sausalito

Catching up with the Halloween parade

Swan police on patrol

Halloween friends--we found Chilali and Eden at the parade in Sausalito

Halloween summary

Daisy had a lot of activities this Halloween: her preschool Halloween party, a pumpkin patch with a hayride, a pumpkin-carving party with friends, trick or treating in our apartment building, and a Halloween parade and haunted house, tonight. I'm probably leaving something out, too.

We had a great time tonight. I am too tired to adequately summarize, but here is the basic plot. I was a witch, Mark was a rocker, and Daisy was a swan. Our neighbor Robyn had the great idea of having trick or treating in the building this year and she arranged it quite beautifully, distributing pumpkin stickers that people could put on their doors if they wanted to participate. A lot of people did, so we had plenty of doors to knock on. Daisy did some trick or treating here with her little neighbors Eli, Vincent, Fia, and Marco. Afterward, we went by the Garden House Cafe; the proprietor, Jeanette (Daisy calls her "Jet") had asked us to stop by for trick or treating. I appreciate this, as we live in a big city and you want to feel a part of your own neighborhood. Ever since we've been going to a neighborhood ballet class, we've had a tradition of stopping by the Garden House Cafe afterward, and Jeanette has been so friendly and welcoming. So it made us happy to stop by her place and show Daisy's costume.

Then we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge and went to the Sausalito Halloween Parade and Haunted House. Daisy has been looking forward to this for months and months. It's what we did last year, and she really wanted to do it again (that's why we went there instead of doing something in the city itself). It was a lot of fun, but I will say that Daisy was more frightened of the Haunted House than she was last year. When the ghouls reached out for her and said spooky things, she clung to me (I was carrying her, as she also asked me to do last year) and at times said she wanted to turn around and go back. Oddly, she also burst out laughing several times and was particularly amused by a pirate who was supposed to be scary. As soon as we emerged into the light, she said she wanted to do it again, despite the horrible fear she had experienced. So we got in line and did it again. This time, she was at least as frightened as the first time, and when we were finished, she said that was enough of that and it was too scary. It was all rather contradictory. Guess I'll have to wait till tomorrow morning to find out what her final verdict on it was. She was so tired when we put her to bed, she could barely speak.

I will post more pictures tomorrow.

Halloween

High Spirits

I have finally discerned the exact meaning of the expression "high-spirited" in my three-year-old's brain.

She told me one morning that Randall, her "classer" (as she puts it), is "a very high-spirited boy." Naturally I assumed she knew what she was talking about and that Randall must be very energetic, outgoing, extroverted, etc. But when I suggested some other "classers" who might also be described as "high-spirited," she didn't seem to pick up on it so much. Always, it was Randall who was high-spirited, and also Fritz from The Nutcracker.

Well, on Friday when I was driving her to school, she mentioned that our neighbor Eli is high-spirited. Then, after a pause, she told me that the other day she broke a little glass Japanese figurine (which Dada fixed with Krazy Glue) and she observed, "That was a very high-spirited thing to do."

Eureka! All the pieces fell into place. Fritz breaks the nutcracker (OF COURSE); Eli has broken some of Daisy's toys, including a pink flowered flashlight that she mentions all the time; and Randall has dropped something at school and broken it (something she's mentioned offhandedly a couple times). "High-spirited" means LIKELY TO BREAK SOMETHING.