Pregnant?
I can’t believe I am pregnant. I don’t mean that figuratively—what I mean is, I CAN’T BELIEVE I AM PREGNANT. I have had no hard proof. Okay, I took about seven pregnancy tests, but they didn’t really convince me, to be honest. Those tests seem to operate by magic. Or, more scientifically, even if they show the presence of some hormone in my body, so what? All that proves conclusively is that there is a hormone in my body, not a miniature creature. I realize that I am sick and not feeling like myself, but that could be some terrible illness, not pregnancy.
I have only had two concrete pieces of evidence that there is somebody inside of me, and neither of them was completely persuasive. The first was a sonogram image, at 7 weeks, which showed a big space and a little fuzzy circular thing inside of it. It didn’t look remotely like a baby, and could have been anything. The doctor assured me that she saw certain characteristics that indicated it was a baby-like entity, but I only nodded and pretended I understood what she was talking about. All I could think of the whole time was the anti-nausea prescription Mark was currently filling for me downstairs in the pharmacy during my appointment.
The second piece of evidence, at 11 weeks, was a Doppler test that was supposed to help me hear the baby’s heartbeat. The doctor put a device on my stomach, and I heard some loud “whooshing” sounds. I asked if that was the heartbeat, but she said it could be my own heartbeat, so she felt my pulse while she was doing the Doppler. Then, both she and Mark said they could hear two different whooshing sounds: one slower, being my heartbeat, and the other faster, being the baby’s. But the machine kept getting louder and then softer, and making static noises, and I wasn’t too sure what was going on. At one point, the doctor said, “They’ve had the same equipment since the 70s. This thing is going to explode any minute now!”
So, I have to be honest and say I might not be pregnant. I hope no one (Mom, Dad) gets too disappointed if this all turns out to have been a big mistake.
I have only had two concrete pieces of evidence that there is somebody inside of me, and neither of them was completely persuasive. The first was a sonogram image, at 7 weeks, which showed a big space and a little fuzzy circular thing inside of it. It didn’t look remotely like a baby, and could have been anything. The doctor assured me that she saw certain characteristics that indicated it was a baby-like entity, but I only nodded and pretended I understood what she was talking about. All I could think of the whole time was the anti-nausea prescription Mark was currently filling for me downstairs in the pharmacy during my appointment.
The second piece of evidence, at 11 weeks, was a Doppler test that was supposed to help me hear the baby’s heartbeat. The doctor put a device on my stomach, and I heard some loud “whooshing” sounds. I asked if that was the heartbeat, but she said it could be my own heartbeat, so she felt my pulse while she was doing the Doppler. Then, both she and Mark said they could hear two different whooshing sounds: one slower, being my heartbeat, and the other faster, being the baby’s. But the machine kept getting louder and then softer, and making static noises, and I wasn’t too sure what was going on. At one point, the doctor said, “They’ve had the same equipment since the 70s. This thing is going to explode any minute now!”
So, I have to be honest and say I might not be pregnant. I hope no one (Mom, Dad) gets too disappointed if this all turns out to have been a big mistake.
posted by Sarah Goss at 9:24 PM
11 Comments:
Heh. Wait 'til it grows gills and fur (though, to be fair, I don't think those two things happen at the same time).
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Sarah, don't you think you should have told your mother and me that you are pregnant rather than let us find out through googling your name?
-- Dad
Those drug store tests are like 99.9% accurate, so you're pregnant. (The way I was told, by our obstetrician, was that it can be wrong and say you're not pregnant, but if it says you're pregnant, it's almost never wrong.)
The caveat, of course, is that you may get unpregnant in the first 3-4 months. This is very common. Again, according to our doc, this is not a bad thing, because it can mean that something wasn't forming properly and the body let it go.
OK, that's enough sharing from a total stranger. (I'm a friend of Meghan's.)
You're PREGNANT?! When did this happen?!
Hello Rick! Nice to meet you. I know you are right, rationally speaking... I did take about 7 pregnancy tests and have had several ob gyn appointments. I kept asking the doctor if she was sure someone was in there and she kept saying she was. But I am still not convinced. That is the problem. I do have a rational brain, but I have ever so many other brains, too :-(
Very funny, Dad!!!! :-)
...okay, I knew my dad was kidding, but I wasn't sure whether Albert was or not, until I recalled that at least a week ago he generously offered to name my unborn either Beowulf or Hortense--so now I'm positive he already knew.
"Beowulf" definitely has some sizzle, but it doesn't go nearly so well with "Meritt" as "Hortense" does--I'm already picturing a British lepidopterist.
Heh heh heh... I can hardly wait for the spleen-kicking. I am sure I'll eat those words soon enough, though.
"Hortense Meritt"? Ok, I'll think about it.
If you have enough appetite to eat those words without yakking them right back up, sounds like you're doing better already.
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