No sleep
I guess it is time to talk about this on my blog. That way, if any friend or relation happens to read this, you'll have an idea what we're going through and probably understand why I have been a bad correspondent lately. Anyway: last night was Daisy's seventh night in a row of not sleeping (and therefore, number 7 for me, too). I can hardly believe this can sustain itself, but it has, so far. When I say "not sleeping," I should probably describe what I mean-- but that is only a slight exaggeration. I'll describe last night and then you'll have an approximate idea what the previous six have been like.
She did sleep from 7:30 to midnight. At midnight, she started screaming hysterically. It was "Mama, Mama, Mama" and "Gommy, Gommy, Gommy," though the night before she also screamed for "Dada." I am sure she was standing up in her crib. Mark spent an hour and a half trying to get her back to sleep--giving her a bottle and rocking her. Every time he tried to put her back in the crib, she started screaming again. I know what this is like because I was the one who tried it a couple nights ago. Easily, you can spend the entire night doing this. So finally, I said to just bring her into bed with us--probably a huge mistake, but again, the alternative seems to be spending the entire night in the rocking chair. (Or, I guess, letting her scream till she throws up, which doesn't seem like an option right now and wouldn't allow for us to sleep, anyway.)
So she came to bed with us at about 1:30. I would say it took 45 minutes to an hour for her to fall asleep. During that time, she insisted on nursing periodically, and when I'd stop nursing her, she'd fidget, toss and turn, and talk. Around 2:30, she went to sleep and slept till about 5:30. I can't say I had three hours of sleep, though, because of the tossing and turning, and because I was perched precariously on the edge of the bed, freezing, because I couldn't get the covers on me without disturbing her and I was just so glad she was finally sleeping. At 5:30 she was up and my day started.
I guess this would not be so bad if A) it weren't the 7th night in a row and B) I didn't have a job to go to today. I would try to take a nap when she napped-- IF she napped. (That's the other thing--she's not napping well, either.) But I was planning to do some final preparations for my class during her nap today. I should also go to bed earlier, I realize... we hadn't even gone to bed till 11:30, so we'd had no sleep when she woke up at 12. This is a real problem for me. I have a terrible time forcing myself to go to bed early and I am usually trying to do work to get ready for my class the next day, or I just need some time to myself and when she's sleeping is the only time I get it... so I stay up too late.
I am starting to feel pretty wrecked...pretty much like I have the flu. I feel dizzy and my body hurts. I can't believe this would keep going. Doesn't a person have to sleep at some point? I can see several reasons for the crisis, but they don't totally satisfy me. We did go on a trip, and I understand that that would disturb her sleep patterns, but we never had quite such a hard time getting her back into her routine in the past. Also, she is more or less walking, and I have read that big developmental changes can trigger sleep problems. Mark and I have both noticed how fidgety she is at night, like she has all the excess energy, even though I made sure to get her tons of physical exercise yesterday. (Today, I am too tired to go through the same.) On top of these things, the explosion in her language has been so amazing that I can't help wondering if that could be some part of this, too. She has such a desire to be awake, and label things in the world, that she really resists sleeping. Just this morning she's been saying "Rock horse," "Wash hands," "Ten apples," and a lot of her other little two or three word phrases and sentences. Now, if she doesn't get her meaning across, she repeats it insistently until I get it... she really wants to be understood, to communicate things about the world.
Anyway... so all of this stuff is going on with her. And I guess it's making it hard for her to sleep. But I am not sure what's going to happen to us if this doesn't get better soon. Mark has a show tonight in which he has to perform in two bands. He is going to have to do this on about 1.5 hours of sleep, then come home and probably deal with Daisy being awake when he gets here. I said I'd do it, and try to sleep whenever she goes to sleep the first time, but he pointed out that I may have been dealing with her for hours before he even gets home and will be exhausted, too. So... yeah. Things are very, very bad. We all feel sick, including Daisy, I can tell--there are dark circles under her eyes--and it's the end of the semester, with lots of work piling up and no time left to defer it. We may have to alter our upcoming plans to deal with this crisis... we have a sort of idea what to try, but it involves both of us being home consistently at 7:30 pm (earlier, to start the bedtime routine)....
She did sleep from 7:30 to midnight. At midnight, she started screaming hysterically. It was "Mama, Mama, Mama" and "Gommy, Gommy, Gommy," though the night before she also screamed for "Dada." I am sure she was standing up in her crib. Mark spent an hour and a half trying to get her back to sleep--giving her a bottle and rocking her. Every time he tried to put her back in the crib, she started screaming again. I know what this is like because I was the one who tried it a couple nights ago. Easily, you can spend the entire night doing this. So finally, I said to just bring her into bed with us--probably a huge mistake, but again, the alternative seems to be spending the entire night in the rocking chair. (Or, I guess, letting her scream till she throws up, which doesn't seem like an option right now and wouldn't allow for us to sleep, anyway.)
So she came to bed with us at about 1:30. I would say it took 45 minutes to an hour for her to fall asleep. During that time, she insisted on nursing periodically, and when I'd stop nursing her, she'd fidget, toss and turn, and talk. Around 2:30, she went to sleep and slept till about 5:30. I can't say I had three hours of sleep, though, because of the tossing and turning, and because I was perched precariously on the edge of the bed, freezing, because I couldn't get the covers on me without disturbing her and I was just so glad she was finally sleeping. At 5:30 she was up and my day started.
I guess this would not be so bad if A) it weren't the 7th night in a row and B) I didn't have a job to go to today. I would try to take a nap when she napped-- IF she napped. (That's the other thing--she's not napping well, either.) But I was planning to do some final preparations for my class during her nap today. I should also go to bed earlier, I realize... we hadn't even gone to bed till 11:30, so we'd had no sleep when she woke up at 12. This is a real problem for me. I have a terrible time forcing myself to go to bed early and I am usually trying to do work to get ready for my class the next day, or I just need some time to myself and when she's sleeping is the only time I get it... so I stay up too late.
I am starting to feel pretty wrecked...pretty much like I have the flu. I feel dizzy and my body hurts. I can't believe this would keep going. Doesn't a person have to sleep at some point? I can see several reasons for the crisis, but they don't totally satisfy me. We did go on a trip, and I understand that that would disturb her sleep patterns, but we never had quite such a hard time getting her back into her routine in the past. Also, she is more or less walking, and I have read that big developmental changes can trigger sleep problems. Mark and I have both noticed how fidgety she is at night, like she has all the excess energy, even though I made sure to get her tons of physical exercise yesterday. (Today, I am too tired to go through the same.) On top of these things, the explosion in her language has been so amazing that I can't help wondering if that could be some part of this, too. She has such a desire to be awake, and label things in the world, that she really resists sleeping. Just this morning she's been saying "Rock horse," "Wash hands," "Ten apples," and a lot of her other little two or three word phrases and sentences. Now, if she doesn't get her meaning across, she repeats it insistently until I get it... she really wants to be understood, to communicate things about the world.
Anyway... so all of this stuff is going on with her. And I guess it's making it hard for her to sleep. But I am not sure what's going to happen to us if this doesn't get better soon. Mark has a show tonight in which he has to perform in two bands. He is going to have to do this on about 1.5 hours of sleep, then come home and probably deal with Daisy being awake when he gets here. I said I'd do it, and try to sleep whenever she goes to sleep the first time, but he pointed out that I may have been dealing with her for hours before he even gets home and will be exhausted, too. So... yeah. Things are very, very bad. We all feel sick, including Daisy, I can tell--there are dark circles under her eyes--and it's the end of the semester, with lots of work piling up and no time left to defer it. We may have to alter our upcoming plans to deal with this crisis... we have a sort of idea what to try, but it involves both of us being home consistently at 7:30 pm (earlier, to start the bedtime routine)....
posted by Sarah Goss at 7:01 AM
8 Comments:
I am so sorry for all of you! I hope things change soon. It must be so hard.
That sounds like Alex the past few nights. He's been getting molars and our household has been hit by the worst cold/cough, which he has too, so there are lots of reasons for his behaving like a literal enfant terrible. I've noticed he really wants to communicate, too, and is frustrated that we don't understand everything he's trying to tell us, so during the day, he's been fussy and crying a lot too.
What you described with taking the baby into bed and then being precariously perched and having the delicately sleeping baby hog the blankets made me laugh--I'd been in that same exact position the night before last!
I hope it gets better soon...for all of us ;)
Thank you for the sympathy! Believe it or not, it helps :-)
I hate to say this, but have you talked to her doctor? Can you guys call in sick, leave her at day care, and try to get some sleep that way? There have been times when we resorted to a product called "Li'l Teethers" that, not to put too fine a point on it, is basically baby dope. I think it works.
Because yes, the situation is bad. I feel awful for you.
Thank you, Marguerite! I can tell you know just how dire the situation is. I've been thinking I'm going to get sick if this goes on (I just had my eighth night in a row of it). I am feeling a little better because it's the weekend, so instead of going to work, Mark and I took turns watching her so the other could take a nap. But that does not mean the problem is solved-- it isn't, and I'm sure the same thing will happen tonight unless we come up with a strategy to deal with it. I am not sure what I'm going to do. I don't have any daycare, but I've definitely been thinking how helpful that would be-- to be able to drop her off somewhere and take a nap. I was having this fantasy about taking her to the YMCA, leaving her in their child room, and then taking a nice snooze on an exercise bike!!
I know daycare is not a perfect optoin. But a few days of it out of the week may save your sizzling bacon.
Oh, I feel for you. :-( Ding dong, that's for sure! I understand the issue of sleep deprivation and children. In my own experience, we have never had Britin long enough for him to really get on our schedule, and so he always has woken up at 6am (sun's up!) no matter when he goes to sleep. We will go about our lives, going to sleep late like we normally do, and then one of us has had to deal with the early morning routine--usually me. The problem for us, which isn't as big of a deal since he is almost 7 now, is the fact that I have fallen alseep while he watches cartoons, or something, that very early in the morning. Eventually, I end up adapting to Britin's schedule more than he does, and during the school week, this means sleep deprivation. But, for us, luckily it is temporary, and we can catch up on sleep when he is not around. We have reached the no-nap period, where no human effort will lead to Britin taking a nap :-( I guess he is just too old. We did experiment--I took a nap and he played quietly, for about ten minutes! So, again, I feel for you!!! We have been going on six years with this conflict, and now it is just part of our life, I suppose!
Oh, yes-- I am not anti-day-care, at all. It's just that we've been trying to save $ by doing it all ourselves. But you know... this might just not be working anymore. It might be worth it to pay for some daycare.
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