Parenting hard-ness

Daisy has been having a hard time lately, and that hard time manifests itself in ways that can legitimately be seen as... annoying or even obnoxious. She is physically not as strong or adept as kids her own age, or even younger, and is routinely out-raced, pushed down, overpowered, and in other ways dominated or outdone by other kids physically. This prompts her to speak out, in frustration, words that can certainly be heard as obnoxious. She tells other kids, "Get away from me!" and "Mine, mine!", desperately territorializing an object she fears will be easily taken away from her in a moment by the stronger kid. As an OT we consulted with told us, "She controls her world through language because she cannot do so physically." As her parents, and because we see the whole picture, we sympathize with her, but we are also trying to help her learn to moderate her words and behavior so that she can get along in the world.

But it is hard. I know she is especially sensitive to my opinion, and when I try to talk to her about something she's said or done, her eyes fill with tears and she seems deeply wounded. She feels criticized by me, even when I word things as carefully as I can. Aaaaa. This is hard.