The Boobening
After returning to running today, one thing is abundantly clear: I am going to need a new sports bra.
(I'm sorry, but I really wanted to create a post called The Boobening.)
(I'm sorry, but I really wanted to create a post called The Boobening.)
posted by Sarah Goss at 2:11 PM
9 Comments:
I'm sorry I can't write more, but I just hurt myself laughing at this and I need a moment to recover...
I have three words for you:
Jamie. Lee. Curtis.
hee hee hee hee!
For everyone out there who cannot witness the boobening first hand, I am here to tell you that it is a glorious thing. The Sarita is looking F-I-N-E. :)
Why thank you, Arweena! I am glad my expanding bosoms are not aesthetically displeasing, because they are becoming a mite *uncomfortable*. The degree of bounce-age I was achieving on the treadmill attracted the gaze of more than one YMCA-goer that fine afternoon.
If you can enjoy them, by all means do so. I have enormous breasts (this is not a boast or a come-on, simply a fact, trust me), and my relationship with them is stormy at best, often bitter and hateful. Ugh. Don't even get me started. They don't MAKE sports bras in my size.*
I once intended to devote a great deal of my blog to this subject, but then I sent the blog address to a number of people who actually see me in person, and I don't want to field any first-hand (first-gland?) critiques. Secretly, I'm already convinced that most of my acquaintances, male and female, spend TWENTY HOURS A DAY or more talking about them--"Are you SURE they're real? Of course they are, don't you see how floppy they are? I thought I was a Boob Man, but those things are just freakish, dude... How does she stay upright?"
Sorry for the rant, but this is a LARGE issue in my life and one (or two) close to my heart, so of course I had to milk it. I'll blog about it--some udder time.
*Okay, they do, but you have to order them online and they cost like eighty bucks.
Hee. I love "The Boobening." I've always wished for one for myself.
Isn't it beautiful, Haddayr? I am so glad you see the beauty--everyone else seems to believe I'm coining the name of a new horror movie.
Haydelina--believe me, the boobening is not all it might seem to be! I feel *grotesque*. And people stare at me. Ohhhh, how they stare. It was so bad that even my poor mother noticed, one day when we were walking together. She said, "People are despicable!" But I guess they can't help it. I keep wondering if they think they're *fake*.
Meghan, you are funny...please do create a blog entry on the subject. I really enjoyed your use of "milk" in that comment.
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