Okaaaay....
Daisy just told me there is a girl who pushes her at school. She used the girl's name, but I don't want to write it here. Let's just call her "Polly." Daisy said, "Sometimes Polly is not nice. Polly pushes me." I asked her why, and she said, "I don't know why." A few minutes later I asked her if the other kids were nice and she said yes. And then she said, "Polly is nice too. Sometimes she pushes me, but she is still nice." What a smart girl! And yet-- I am a little concerned. I know I shouldn't completely freak out and that these things are going to happen at school; for all I know, Daisy may have done something to bring it on, or the pushing may have been unintentional, or it may not have been all that aggressive. It's just hard not to know. I wonder if I should ask the teacher about it?
posted by Sarah Goss at 8:14 PM
3 Comments:
Daisy talked about "Polly" pushing her last week. She also said that Polly was nice sometimes and pushing sometimes. I think "Polly" has a problem. I don't think Daisy's feeling confident enough at school to incite pushing. M.B.
I'd ask the teacher about it; Arie had someone in kindergarten he thought was a "bully" and it turns out the kid was just trying to play. We invited him to Arie's bday party and they had fun together.
And if this isn't the case, the teacher is on notice that Polly is doing this, and she can keep an eye out for it.
I found it telling that Daisy couldn't imagine why someone was pushing her. This is something I had to deal with Britin this summer when he was taunted by another kid at baseball camp. It surprised me because he didn't understand why it happened either. I wanted to step in and protect him and we had a big discussion and letting him no that it was not acceptable behavior and that he could tell the coach about this seemed to make him feel better. Before I could do anything or had to do anything, Britin was able to feel empathy for the child and the next day said to this kid, "If you weren't such a jerk maybe you could have friends." I had not told home to do this--I had said ignore the kid, tell the teacher, etc. After this, Britin said this kid was his friend. If Daisy is shy and different (or in Britin's case, new and different) I can imagine her being a target for bullies...definitely something to ask a teacher about and at least let Daisy know that it isn't okay...especially if she is unsure of interacting with children in this context. I feel for her, since I am such a non-group person and would be like her, making friends with kids who live elsewhere at the park! --Melissa
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