Daisy's rule-following phase
At least, I hope it is a phase. Daisy is obsessed with rules right now and very strict about making sure we all follow them to the letter. And she has no sense of the "spirit of the law," JUST the letter. The other day at her preschool park play, a sweet little boy picked a daisy and gave it to her. Know what my daughter did in response? She reported him to the teacher for breaking one of the park play rules (picking a living thing). Nice, huh?
Then, a night or two ago, I made the mistake of telling her that I was planning to sneak a couple organic gummy bears into her lunch. You see, the school says the kids are not supposed to have any sweets in their lunches. But on a little impulse, I thought I'd put a couple of those Annie's organic gummy bunnies into a tupperware along with her raisins and crackers as a fun surprise. Then I mentioned it to her--"Guess what I am going to sneak into your lunch tomorrow?" I should have known better. She was outraged that I planned to break her school's rules so egregiously and insisted that I remove them immediately.
But that was not all! The beloved child informed me this morning--I'd like to say with some regret in her voice--that she had had to report me to several teachers at her school for having INTENDED to put gummy bears in her lunch. Aughhh! How am I going to teach this child to be more judicious about the rules she follows? Such problems.
I know she does not get this quality from me. I don't know where she gets it from, but Mark and I have discussed that he is more like that (extremely rule-following and nervous about breaking what sometimes seem to me like meaningless rules not worth following). And yet... I don't know. Even that doesn't satisfy me as an explanation. So I'm hoping it's just a developmental phase. Certainly, even though she's smart, she doesn't have the cognitive complexity to weigh rules and their intentions and contexts and decide which ones are worth following, to what extent, under what circumstances... hopefully, that will come with time.
Then, a night or two ago, I made the mistake of telling her that I was planning to sneak a couple organic gummy bears into her lunch. You see, the school says the kids are not supposed to have any sweets in their lunches. But on a little impulse, I thought I'd put a couple of those Annie's organic gummy bunnies into a tupperware along with her raisins and crackers as a fun surprise. Then I mentioned it to her--"Guess what I am going to sneak into your lunch tomorrow?" I should have known better. She was outraged that I planned to break her school's rules so egregiously and insisted that I remove them immediately.
But that was not all! The beloved child informed me this morning--I'd like to say with some regret in her voice--that she had had to report me to several teachers at her school for having INTENDED to put gummy bears in her lunch. Aughhh! How am I going to teach this child to be more judicious about the rules she follows? Such problems.
I know she does not get this quality from me. I don't know where she gets it from, but Mark and I have discussed that he is more like that (extremely rule-following and nervous about breaking what sometimes seem to me like meaningless rules not worth following). And yet... I don't know. Even that doesn't satisfy me as an explanation. So I'm hoping it's just a developmental phase. Certainly, even though she's smart, she doesn't have the cognitive complexity to weigh rules and their intentions and contexts and decide which ones are worth following, to what extent, under what circumstances... hopefully, that will come with time.
posted by Sarah Goss at 9:05 AM
2 Comments:
She's four, right? I seem to remember this from working at the day-care center; it's a four-year-old thing. I loved the four-year-olds, but they were such little old men and women! Very serious about these things.
Hi Meg-- yes, she is four. I am thinking it's a developmental thing, too. She just LOOOOOVES rules. And I suspect doesn't have the cognitive ability at this point to weigh the kinds of factors I'm asking her to weigh and distinguish between rules that one really should follow and ones that can be... gotten around at times. Heh heh. But I love four-year-olds too. They are hilarious.
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