Portrait of the Shartist as a Young Baby
That is really Mark's joke...though maybe he won't want to take credit for it publicly. Oh well. That's what big-mouthed wives are for.
I am doing better as of late. I think I should be willing to say that, even if I'm afraid it'll jinx me. (I may have jinxed myself tonight by going on about what a good baby Daisy is-- she was a bit fussier than usual at bedtime.) Anyway, I have been thinking about the reasons why I am feeling better. One is that I am starting to feel less incompetent. I can get around to places with the baby, for instance. During Mita's visit we went out to dinner at a Thai place in the Fillmore with Dave and Arwen, and the next day we went to the Legion of Honor, and it all went pretty smoothly. Today we went to our Parents and Infants group, and then we picked up Mark and went to the bistro at the Cliff House, a gorgeous restaurant all in glass that juts out over the Pacific. I felt...rather happy. It was a beautiful, clear, cold San Francisco autumn day, and there I was, sitting with Mark above the Pacific, eating delicious food and feeling sane and calm, and there was Daisy, sitting next to me in her car seat, playing with her feet and occasionally chomping on her hands. It felt...almost like a normal life.
It's still an incredible amount of work to get places with a baby. You have to lug a stroller, and a car seat, and blankets, and a diaper bag (and be sure it's not low on any essential supplies), and alternate outfits in case the baby poops through her clothes, and I always bring my breast pillow, and possibly a sling or bjorn in case I don't feel like getting out the stroller...and on and on like that. So it's not like it used to be, to get around places. It takes a whole lot more energy. But I am doing it anyway. I am, possibly, not the world's worst mother. (Though my conviction in that statement fluctuates.)
It does seem possible that I will continue to have a life of some kind.
Here is a picture of us, being awesomely mobile.
I am doing better as of late. I think I should be willing to say that, even if I'm afraid it'll jinx me. (I may have jinxed myself tonight by going on about what a good baby Daisy is-- she was a bit fussier than usual at bedtime.) Anyway, I have been thinking about the reasons why I am feeling better. One is that I am starting to feel less incompetent. I can get around to places with the baby, for instance. During Mita's visit we went out to dinner at a Thai place in the Fillmore with Dave and Arwen, and the next day we went to the Legion of Honor, and it all went pretty smoothly. Today we went to our Parents and Infants group, and then we picked up Mark and went to the bistro at the Cliff House, a gorgeous restaurant all in glass that juts out over the Pacific. I felt...rather happy. It was a beautiful, clear, cold San Francisco autumn day, and there I was, sitting with Mark above the Pacific, eating delicious food and feeling sane and calm, and there was Daisy, sitting next to me in her car seat, playing with her feet and occasionally chomping on her hands. It felt...almost like a normal life.
It's still an incredible amount of work to get places with a baby. You have to lug a stroller, and a car seat, and blankets, and a diaper bag (and be sure it's not low on any essential supplies), and alternate outfits in case the baby poops through her clothes, and I always bring my breast pillow, and possibly a sling or bjorn in case I don't feel like getting out the stroller...and on and on like that. So it's not like it used to be, to get around places. It takes a whole lot more energy. But I am doing it anyway. I am, possibly, not the world's worst mother. (Though my conviction in that statement fluctuates.)
It does seem possible that I will continue to have a life of some kind.
Here is a picture of us, being awesomely mobile.
posted by Sarah Goss at 8:48 PM
9 Comments:
It seems statistically improbable that you are the worlds worst mother--there are over 300 million people in the U.S. now, so there are probably millions, at least, below you in the rankings. );
--Linda J
You do have a point, and it was rather self-aggrandizing of me to think I'd actually *win* the worst mother war, with such steep competition.
I would love to see more pictures of you and Daisy. You look so calm and wise! And she looks warm enough, to me! :)
Little by little, my dear.
I love the look on Daisy's face. She's like, "Heyyy, how YOU doin'?"
Of course you'll continue to have a life of some kind. You're having one right now. It's all your life -- they come only one to a customer. :)
Having kids is HARD, no doubt about it. We all do the best we can. For what it's worth, I think you're doing great.
Thank y'all!
I guess I could be doing worse. You should SEE the smiles she gives me. They make me so happy. She apparently loves me, the darn fool.
But I always feel like I could be doing better, too.
This is such a stunning picture of the two of you! It took my breath away.
Thank you!!
And thank you for wanting to see more of me, Melissa...unfortunately, there aren't many of me, because I'm always the one taking 'em :-)
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