Will I ever get used to it?
Today I wanted to go to the YMCA, so I took Daisy to the childwatch room. "She likes books," I told the childwatch women, hopefully. Left her there and walked away-- very hard for me. As I transacted some business at the front desk, I soon heard her wailing extremely loudly. I went back to the room, realizing I had not signed in on their clipboard, naming where I would be. The women were not pleased with me for coming back, and I have to say they were probably right. Seeing me again probably made Daisy cry harder.
I left again and hovered a few feet away, where I was out of Daisy's sight but could still hear her. She stopped crying, so I went and did a short workout, only about 20 minutes. I confess that I broke it into two ten-minute sections and in between, went near the door (not so she could see me) and listened to make sure there wasn't any crying.
When I went back to get her, I was feeling positively; after all, she had stopped crying. I figured they were reading to her or playing with her. But to my surprise, when I opened the door, she was standing by herself at a little plastic table with some Cheerios spread out in front of her. The two childwatch women were playing with two little boys at the other end of the room. My heart broke a little, although I suppose nothing was actually wrong, since Daisy had stopped crying. Who knows--maybe they even thought she felt better on her own, with just the Cheerios. But it made me sad.
I apologized to the women for the crying, and one of them told me that it was my coming back that had caused it. But, although I am sure me coming back didn't help, that wasn't strictly true. I had heard her screaming all the way down the hall.
She was very glad to see me, and when I tried to put her down for just a second to gather our belongings, she clung to my leg and whined. I really, really hope this gets easier.
I left again and hovered a few feet away, where I was out of Daisy's sight but could still hear her. She stopped crying, so I went and did a short workout, only about 20 minutes. I confess that I broke it into two ten-minute sections and in between, went near the door (not so she could see me) and listened to make sure there wasn't any crying.
When I went back to get her, I was feeling positively; after all, she had stopped crying. I figured they were reading to her or playing with her. But to my surprise, when I opened the door, she was standing by herself at a little plastic table with some Cheerios spread out in front of her. The two childwatch women were playing with two little boys at the other end of the room. My heart broke a little, although I suppose nothing was actually wrong, since Daisy had stopped crying. Who knows--maybe they even thought she felt better on her own, with just the Cheerios. But it made me sad.
I apologized to the women for the crying, and one of them told me that it was my coming back that had caused it. But, although I am sure me coming back didn't help, that wasn't strictly true. I had heard her screaming all the way down the hall.
She was very glad to see me, and when I tried to put her down for just a second to gather our belongings, she clung to my leg and whined. I really, really hope this gets easier.
posted by Sarah Goss at 5:09 PM
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