Halloween

Sooo... this Halloween turned out to be really good, I've decided, despite some things about it that could have been weird or sad. I tried to do too much, I realized. I was so insanely determined that Daisy would have a great time that I think I missed the fact that she enjoyed just dancing around the living room on her "dance floor," dressed as a fairy, to Jethro Tull's Songs from the Wood. The most poignant thing in the world was her face when I took her fairy costume out of the bag and showed her the tutu, wings, and magic wand. She was so excited that she said, "The best mama in the whole wide world!" (This is a phrase she has learned, and she often says things are "the best in the whole wide world," but she has never applied it to MEEEE before.) I had been telling her for weeks she was going to be a fairy (her request) but she hadn't seen the costume till this morning and she went nuts for it. I have some great footage of her dancing around in her fairy costume at home.

We went up to my neighbor Robyn's (who lives two floors above me) for some yummy Halloween goodies and to see our friends in their costumes. That was quite lovely (pictures will be coming). Then we went to USF (where Mark and I both work) for the little Rhet/Comp program's Halloween gathering. It was very nice to see some friends at work, even though Daisy was pretty shy--largely because she was getting tired. She fell asleep in the car on the way home, which is almost always a bad sign for the nap. I managed to transfer her from the car to her crib, but she did not sleep for very long and was very crabby when she woke up. Nevertheless, we decided to go to the Halloween parade in Sausalito. I was curious to see it because I'd heard a lot about it and because Mark and I used to live there when we first moved to the Bay area. I've got to say, it was a wild scene. The weather, first of all, felt semi-hurricanal. It was warm and humid, and had been raining on and off, and then big gusts of wind came in and blew the leaves everywhere and blew everyone's costumes all around. Then, the parade itself was very crowded, although I guess it's usually more crowded when the weather is calmer. They had blocked off Caledonia Street, and a fire truck led the way for all the costumed kiddies; they paraded down Caledonia Street, where all the businesses were open and giving out treats, and at the end was what Daisy called a "Haunting House." Although some friends were there, we weren't able to hang on to anyone we knew because it just got so crowded and harried, and then Mark had to leave for his Halloween gig. I found myself feeling terribly sad as he walked away, and I was standing there with Daisy and all rain gear and diaper bag stuff and her overflowing trick-or-treating pumpkin, alone amidst all these people we didn't know, and the wind howling insanely and the sky threatening to rain imminently. Daisy kept saying, "Where did Daddy go?"

But then, I suddenly got a strong feeling that Daisy and I were going to have a great time, just the two of us. The whole thing was just too strange and chaotic not to be fun. And it was. Daisy went running down the street waving her magic wand, and striking all these crazy fairy poses and pretending to fly, and people started commenting on her costume and how great she looked; they would smile at her and respond to all her happy energy and antics. Some of the people giving out treats took her picture, and strangers came forward to tell us what a fabulous fairy she was. One woman told me in all sincerity that she looked like a REAL fairy, not a little girl in a fairy costume. We had decided not to try to go through the "Haunting House" because the line was too long, and we were almost back to our car when Daisy said, "What happened to the Haunting House?" I decided instantly that we would walk all the way back and go to it, even though I wasn't sure it would still be open, because damnit, Daisy wanted to go--and we did. We walked all the way back--and Daisy, who an hour earlier had been acting kind of whiny and tired and wanting to be carried, was in a great mood and walked all the way back on her own two legs. We made it, it was still open, and the line wasn't too long. Daisy loved it, although she confessed to me later that she was scared of the bats. She kept saying, "We saw something spooky! We saw something spooky!"

Then we paraded all the way back to the car in the dark, talking to strangers here and there along the way, and Daisy was in an absolutely great mood. It ended up being a really bonding experience for her and me, even though it wasn't an experience of getting to be with friends and Mark wasn't there. As we walked back to our car a man actually pulled over to yell out the window how adorable Daisy was. That made me feel good, because Daisy was sooooo proud of her costume and she kept going up to people shyly and trying to tell them that she was wearing wings and that her magic wand glowed, and of course, not everyone could enter into it with as much enthusiasm as Daisy herself.

When we got home, and walked into the dark apartment, Daisy had a new perspective, having been in a Haunting House, so she said warily, "Is this a spooky house?" I turned on the lights and explained that it was not. So after that she said a few times for reassurance, "This house is not a little bit spooky." Then we brushed her teeth VERY THOROUGHLY and I read her a book about fairies, and we talked about all the things we saw and did today. I talked her out of spending the night in her fairy costume, convinced her to wear pajamas, and put her to bed--and that was that!