Hello
Hello. It's been a rough little stretch of time, and I thought I'd write something about it. First, Daisy has been terribly sick. She had had a hacking, congested cough forEVER... I mean a month, maybe more. It's always scary because her doctor has told us her coughs can always be precursors of asthma attacks, since she developed asthma after her bout with pneumonia over the winter. So we have to start her on her inhalers right away when she gets a cough, preventively.
In the midst of dealing with the cough issues, she came down with 5th Disease/"Slapped Cheek." It came with a fever and sluggishness, and then just when the fever went away, she broke out from head to toe in the most horrible rash I have ever seen in my life. Every day it looked different. One day it was red welts all over every inch of her body, including her face, and the next day the welts had become wide blotches. The doctor assured us that she wasn't contagious anymore--apparently, by the rash phase, the virus has actually left them, and the rash is the body's crazed autoimmune response to the prior attack. So, okay, but she was still clearly uncomfortable, and just looking at her pained me. It still does-- the red blotches are fading, but she is still bright pink all over her body, and more reddish in certain areas.
Then, yesterday she had an enormous vomiting fit in the car. I am pretty sure it was unrelated to the 5th Disease and to the cough, and luckily she did not throw up today, so maybe it was an isolated incident-- but this poor kid. She was so wiped out by these illnesses that she actually fell asleep at 5:00 on the couch (and slept for two hours), then woke up, ate something, and went right to bed.
I spent a lot of yesterday scrubbing barf out of the nooks and crannies of her carseat and trying to eradicate the smell from my car. This has not been the happiest time for me. I hate seeing Daisy sick and miserable. This is her last week of preschool before summer break, too, so I hope she's well enough to attend it.
In addition, another fun event that occurred is that I got dumped by a long-time friend, the wife of one of Mark's good friends (and mine), too. I won't go into many details, except to say that we were trying to arrange a lunch date and my suggestions fell short because she was expecting a "long and leisurely" lunch, which apparently my suggestions did not fulfill. On top of having a young kid (and a sick one, during the time we were trying to plan this lunch), I have a part-time job and two summer classes currently that meet for six hours apiece, twice a week. I couldn't help feeling a little bitter at her chastisement of me for failing to provide enough leisure for our lunch. I felt like I was trying desperately to come up with something that would please her. After my last suggestion--which involved a four-hour block of time I felt I could devote to a lunch--she wrote me back with a sharp tongue-lashing, accusing me of being ungrateful and failing to appreciate her for all the wonderful things she had to offer. The last line informed me that she was terminating our friendships.
I read this lovely note at 10:30 Wednesday night, after I had come home from a 6-hour class that ended at 9:45. It was the same day that Daisy had started coming down with 5th Disease. It just felt... wrong. I guess the old me would have written back justifying herself to this woman, but this version of me felt too tired. Anyway, I surprisingly did not sink into a funk. I didn't feel too mixed up inside, the way we do when we secretly suspect we're to blame. Not that it's not sad and awkward-- it is. But somehow, I am not taking it on. I am trying to focus on all the wonderful, kind, supportive people in my life who care about me and for whom friendship is genuinely a two-way street.
In the midst of dealing with the cough issues, she came down with 5th Disease/"Slapped Cheek." It came with a fever and sluggishness, and then just when the fever went away, she broke out from head to toe in the most horrible rash I have ever seen in my life. Every day it looked different. One day it was red welts all over every inch of her body, including her face, and the next day the welts had become wide blotches. The doctor assured us that she wasn't contagious anymore--apparently, by the rash phase, the virus has actually left them, and the rash is the body's crazed autoimmune response to the prior attack. So, okay, but she was still clearly uncomfortable, and just looking at her pained me. It still does-- the red blotches are fading, but she is still bright pink all over her body, and more reddish in certain areas.
Then, yesterday she had an enormous vomiting fit in the car. I am pretty sure it was unrelated to the 5th Disease and to the cough, and luckily she did not throw up today, so maybe it was an isolated incident-- but this poor kid. She was so wiped out by these illnesses that she actually fell asleep at 5:00 on the couch (and slept for two hours), then woke up, ate something, and went right to bed.
I spent a lot of yesterday scrubbing barf out of the nooks and crannies of her carseat and trying to eradicate the smell from my car. This has not been the happiest time for me. I hate seeing Daisy sick and miserable. This is her last week of preschool before summer break, too, so I hope she's well enough to attend it.
In addition, another fun event that occurred is that I got dumped by a long-time friend, the wife of one of Mark's good friends (and mine), too. I won't go into many details, except to say that we were trying to arrange a lunch date and my suggestions fell short because she was expecting a "long and leisurely" lunch, which apparently my suggestions did not fulfill. On top of having a young kid (and a sick one, during the time we were trying to plan this lunch), I have a part-time job and two summer classes currently that meet for six hours apiece, twice a week. I couldn't help feeling a little bitter at her chastisement of me for failing to provide enough leisure for our lunch. I felt like I was trying desperately to come up with something that would please her. After my last suggestion--which involved a four-hour block of time I felt I could devote to a lunch--she wrote me back with a sharp tongue-lashing, accusing me of being ungrateful and failing to appreciate her for all the wonderful things she had to offer. The last line informed me that she was terminating our friendships.
I read this lovely note at 10:30 Wednesday night, after I had come home from a 6-hour class that ended at 9:45. It was the same day that Daisy had started coming down with 5th Disease. It just felt... wrong. I guess the old me would have written back justifying herself to this woman, but this version of me felt too tired. Anyway, I surprisingly did not sink into a funk. I didn't feel too mixed up inside, the way we do when we secretly suspect we're to blame. Not that it's not sad and awkward-- it is. But somehow, I am not taking it on. I am trying to focus on all the wonderful, kind, supportive people in my life who care about me and for whom friendship is genuinely a two-way street.
posted by Sarah Goss at 8:42 PM
4 Comments:
Poor Daisy! Hope she feels better very soon and stays well for awhile for both your sakes, so you can enjoy summer!
It can be tough trying to juggle friendships with all your other responsibilities, especially when you have small children. Unfortunately some friendships do go by the wayside.
For our part, we really appreciated being able to see you when we were in the Bay Area!
People have a way of sorting themselves out, and this friend is not a friend. You did well by not replying. Let it slide.
Love,
Dad
Thank you for forgiving me when I went through that nasty phase when I was 17. I should have been locked in a box between ages 14 and 22. Makes me wish I had an eraser.
Oh gosh--Meghan, *I* was horrible at that age! I should be thanking you for forgiving me! I should have been locked in a box till age thirty. Really.
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