Okay, I lied.
Two new infant sleep books that I ordered just came in the mail--Weissbluth and Ferber--and I started reading them tonight. I guess I still have hope that the experts can help!
posted by Sarah Goss at 9:34 PM
posted by Sarah Goss at 9:34 PM
14 Comments:
Sarah,
Daisy might just be going through a growth phase--both our boys went through several days in a row where they hardly slept at all. No naps, or very short naps, and to bed late but up very early. The baby just did this for a solid week earlier this month. The same thing happens with food--pack it away like a piggie one week, hardly eat at all the next.
I think they do this just to keep us guessing ;)
Lee
Thank you for this, Lee--that is what I am hoping. I just can't understand the sudden changes. She has been sleeping TERRIBLY--short naps, and waking up between four to six times at night, simply howling her head off (which she never did before). Before this, she was sleeping from 7 till 4 or 5 pretty regularly. We are beside ourselves! Your note gives me hope
:-)
Ahhh... baby books. So, now I'm going to tell you how old I am. Doctor Spock. (No. Not MISTER Spock.). His was the first of many baby books that presumed that humans, who've been around an unimaginably long time, suddenly can't figure out how to rear a small human.
A story that was current back then was that when Dr Spock's book was translated into Russian it was an INSTANT best seller.
An enterprising reporter saw a babushka carrying a well worn one and asked her what she thought of the book. She responded that it was the PREFECT book with which to rear children.
Just then her grandchild started acting up and she took the book and applied it vigorously to his backside. Then turned to the reporter and said, "See? Perfect!"
;-D
Want some tips? Or not. I always ask first. (My three are all adults now and not a bum in the lot.)
Oh... I can tell you how to fix the screaming thing. (It does NOT involve smacking them with books, but it will be painful!! :-D)
Yes!! I do want tips. Yes.
Oh, I LOVE Dr. Spock! He is so...quaintly reasonable-sounding, by today's standards. I've actually only read one thing by him, an essay about whether or not to allow your children to play with toy guns, which was anthologized in a reader we used in our composition classes. I thought it was a neat essay. Love the grandma's use for Spock, though! I am afraid I spank Daisy so often (lovingly) that she would just laugh at me if I suddenly did it punitively.
Okay. The screaming thing. (The pain will be yours.)
See... babies are cute little monsters. They are a LOT more intelligent then most parents give them credit for. The one thing they are born knowing how to do is how to manipulate you. Different kids, different methodologies - depends on what works for them.
So you have to use a little behavior-modification, and this is where the pain comes in. When mine screamed, I used to go in, check to make sure baby didn't have a pin sticking them, or that they were clean and dry. (Colic was a different scream.)
If you pick her up and she stops screaming, that's a pretty good indicator that she just wants her favorite monkey to perform.
At that point, you smile AND PUT HER BACK!!! (Do you own ear plugs? Get some if you need to.) She'll start screaming again, and you LEAVE THE ROOM! DO NOT reward screaming with your continued presence.
Since you've already trained her that screaming is effective, it will be harder to break the conditioning - harder on both of you.
But if you DON'T - prepare yourself for a horrid, demanding, entitled teenager and adult - a human being that you may not enjoy being around. It all begins now.
Then a while after she stops screaming and has settled down a bit, go in and pick her up and spend some time with her. Teach her that quiet and well behaved gets your attention and she doesn't have to scream to get attention.
It will be hard - but your reward far outweighs the pain.
I know you are right! Everything about this makes sense to me. I just have no idea if I can do it. Or, worse, I have the vague idea that the answer is no, I am too wimpy. But... I guess it depends on how desperate I get. She is sick now, so I don't want to try anything new on her, and I'm kind of hoping she goes back to normal when she gets better. If that doesn't happen, maybe I will steel myself to try something like this with her. I always wonder, though, if I am expecting too much from her. If she can sleep from 7 to 5 (as she was doing before these changes), is that about what I can expect? The books all talk about "sleeping through the night," but what exactly does that mean for a baby? I would never choose to get up at 5 AM, but for her, that means she's been asleep for ten hours, which certainly seems like enough (and, in the good old days, she used to nurse and then sleep for another hour or two).
I hope she goes back to that. Really, really hope.
OMG, 4 to 6 times a night! you must be insane, poor thing!
I don't have experience about the nap switch, but as far as the back and forth on food, yes--PooButt some days eats like a model; other days she eats like a weightlifter....
I would say your baby is normal.
PooButt sleeps from about 8 to 7, give or take. She's supposed to be put down at 7:30, but this is wobbly, and sometimes she takes a while to get settled. She yells; I wait for a few minutes, go in and make sure what's up. She screams again, I wait for a longer increment. Most of the time she needs a cuddle and then she goes down fine.
I recommend an iPod shuffle. :)
Marguerite,
WOw, 8 to 7-- that sounds great. How old is Poo Butt, if I may ask?
Hee. PooButt, AKA TomatoFace, just turned 2 last month.
Okay, that makes me feel better... I have something to look forward to when Daisy is two. Hopefully she will take a page from PooButt's book. Or TomatoFace's. Does she prefer one over the other? We have been calling Daisy Bagelly Joe and Buggy Bear. No idea why, really.
Or, you could have a two year old who barely sleeps to 6 and doesn't nap. Little Miss has suddenly decided not to nap. She plays around the whole time, talking and singing. 4 times in the last week. Sigh. It is not time to give up naps!
Good point, Amy!!!!
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