Lately, I am not so happy
Don't panic or call 911 or anything. But I guess it's worth a (brief) post. The whole experience of sending Daisy off to preschool five days a week--watching her struggle and going through my own struggles about it--and at the same time entering a new grad school program: well, it's kind of defeating me at the moment. I feel really overwhelmed, out of place everywhere I go, and sad when I think of my old life. I miss a lot of people and things. And I don't feel very attached to the new stuff, at least not yet. I keep having fantasies about moving, or at the very least, getting in the car and driving far away and hibernating for awhile in some cozy vacation spot.
I have been crying more than usual and my body hurts, which is really weird. Maybe it's just fatigue, but I have these flu-like symptoms of aches and pains that feel really close to the surface of my skin (no, I do not have the flu of any kind--I am positive it's not that). Last night I was so exhausted, both physically and emotionally, that I went to bed at 9:30. Let me repeat that: NINE-THIRTY! I never, never, never do that. Ever. I am a night owl, and I am capable of staying up late into the night even knowing that I will have to get up at 6:30. But last night, it just really wasn't worth it to remain conscious.
Ughhhhh.
I have been crying more than usual and my body hurts, which is really weird. Maybe it's just fatigue, but I have these flu-like symptoms of aches and pains that feel really close to the surface of my skin (no, I do not have the flu of any kind--I am positive it's not that). Last night I was so exhausted, both physically and emotionally, that I went to bed at 9:30. Let me repeat that: NINE-THIRTY! I never, never, never do that. Ever. I am a night owl, and I am capable of staying up late into the night even knowing that I will have to get up at 6:30. But last night, it just really wasn't worth it to remain conscious.
Ughhhhh.
posted by Sarah Goss at 10:24 PM
6 Comments:
Sending hugs across the miles, dear friend! Wish I were there to give you a hug in person, but I hope you can feel it even from here.
Love you,
Jenny
If you start to cough a lot, let me know.
Dad
So sorry to hear this. I've been there, too.
sounds like you have symptoms of depression. Are you up for talking?
xo
anna
by the way, previous message is anna shigeta, not your other friend Anna.
I can imagine you are missing Daisy and maybe mourning that bonding experience you had when she wasn't out in the world on her own. I think this is common for stay-at-home moms and maybe moms in general when their children go off to school. Are you still doing your mommy's group at all? Also, this might seem totally crazy, but is there any possibility you might be pregnant. I don't know why, but it popped into my mind when I read your symptoms. I am also hear to listen, I know you know, whenever you feel up to it. Email me when you can! Love, Melissa
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