Saturday, May 29, 2010

Sometimes she reminds me of me

Just sometimes.

1) Today Daisy was rolling down a hill at the playground near our apartment. She really wanted to do it, but it's a long hill and she was hilariously slow in her descent. Midway down the hill, she stopped and just sat there, covered in grasses, staring into space. I asked her what was going on, and she told me she was thinking about the music from the Curious George movie (the only movie she has ever seen, to this date). She said, "Mama, I like to imagine the music in my head. I imagine it all the time."

This touches me. It reminds me of when I was a kid. I was the same way. Music made a strong impression on me, and I latched onto particular songs and pieces and re-lived them in my head frequently. I was emotional and introspective. I can tell she has these parts, too. She also told me the music was purple; now that one's beyond me! I never had that power.

2) There was a very inviting tree at the playground and I suggested climbing on it. Daisy felt she needed help, and her way of expressing this was to say to me, "Don't just stand there. Please help me up!" I told her, kindly, that she shouldn't say "Don't just stand there." She was immediately at great pains to explain to me that she had only meant to communicate that she needed help getting into the tree. I realized that she hadn't meant to be rude; she didn't know "Don't just stand there" was a rude thing to say. This is something that happens with my girl, you see. Sponge-like, she soaks up almost everything she hears, and then she tries out new expressions on us--often before she knows what they mean. One such example recently was "In case you hadn't noticed." She learned this expression and for a day, she started most of her sentences with it, even when it made no sense. She must have heard "Don't just stand there" somewhere and decided to try it out.

After I told her that "Don't just stand there" wasn't the best thing to say, she said, "I wish I had an eraser. I wish I could erase every time I say a bad thing." I would have been more concerned about this sentiment, except she delivered it in a matter-of-fact way, not a distressed way. Still, it touched me, too, because it reminded me so much of myself (except I probably would have been distressed while saying it).

3) An hour later, Daisy again brought up her mistake in saying "Don't just stand there." We had completely moved on to other things, so I was surprised this was on her mind. Again, she explained to me that she had not meant anything by it and that she had just wanted me to know she needed help getting into the tree. Again, I was so strongly reminded of myself. I remember worrying and worrying about things I said, especially when I felt misunderstood-- when an adult thought I had intended something negative and I hadn't. Those experiences were very painful for me.

However, Daisy didn't sound distressed--just like she really needed me to understand. So I told her that I understood and that I wasn't bothered in the least by what she had said. I tried to explain (and I hope she understood me) that that's what mothers are for: helping children figure out what certain words and expressions mean, and the best time and place to use them. I said she should never worry about what she said to me, and that I was only telling her what I did because I thought it would be helpful.

It's just... I can hardly believe how deep things have gotten with her already. She is not even four yet! I can see she is sensitive and thoughtful, which is great, as long as she doesn't become as morbidly sensitive and distressed as I sometimes was as a kid. Ugh.

I love her so much.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Random Mothering Note

I am probably jinxing myself bigtime by writing this, but I will anyway: today I was thinking that an almost-four-year-old seems to be easier, and possibly MUCH easier, than a three-year-old. Not that I am complaining. Daisy never had any terrible twos, and she never had a "tantrum phase." She had a few tantrums in her life, but they were always isolated incidents rather than regular occurrences. But some of the threes have been challenging, I think because she started realizing she could defy us and argue with us and make counter-points, etc. Lately, however, she seems almost...reasonable. It's eerie. I have a good feeling about four.

Also, I have to tell this brief anecdote. Daisy has taken a shine to the band Mr. Big (yes, that's right, and laugh if you must, but I find her taste extremely excellent). She sometimes pretends that Eric Martin, the lead singer of Mr. Big, is with her, and she converses with him. She also likes Wham and pretends that George Michael is with her. Anyway, the other day I said I was going to go change my clothes and she said, "Can I come with you and watch?" Yes, of course, I said. We went in my room and I started changing. She said, "Eric Martin, would you like to watch my mommy change her clothes?" She also informed me, "George Michael is on the bed, watching."

Yesterday I thought it was funny that Daisy invited Eric Martin and George Michael to watch me change my clothes. Today it suddenly dawned on me that what was funny was actually my response, which was to instantly say, "No, Daisy! Tell Eric Martin he is NOT going to watch Mommy change her clothes and he has to leave right away!" I didn't even hesitate; I was just too horrified that Daisy's invisible friends were invading my privacy.

I am buying into Daisy's invisible friend world just a little too much. I need more fresh air or something.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Cupcake

I posted some time back that I didn't think the death of the class guinea pig, Cupcake, had had much impact on Daisy. I didn't think it had, but yesterday when she woke up from her nap, she was saying, "Cupcake! Cupcake!" I went into the room and she told me, half-awake, that she thought Cupcake must have gone to heaven because there is some little kid there who wanted a pet. She repeated it and then said, "Do you think that's right, Mama?" It was like she needed reassurance, and it's been months since we discussed Cupcake. I guess these things sort of hibernate and then come back up as their concepts get more sophisticated.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Happy

Monday, May 03, 2010

I am a tireless mama

Whatever else it may say on my epitaph when I am gone, it will not say, "She did not try hard." :) I have been running around madly for the last three days giving Daisy all kinds of experiences. On Friday I took Daisy to school and afterward, I met her with her lunch and took her to Park Play on the yellow bus from school (our first time). On Saturday I took her to ballet, lunch, a birthday party for her classmate (the adorable Jordan), and then a barbecue for our friends' anniversary. On Sunday I took her to the Discovery Museum, where Mark met us, and then for some reason we drove to Fairfax, walked around town, ate ice cream, played at a playground, and waded around in a creek (where, randomly, a little boy named Zeus threw a rock at me, so completely blindsiding me that it nearly knocked the wind out of me. His mother, seeing what happened, smirked right in my face. Nice, eh?). Daisy was brave about wading in the river over rocks, some of which were sharp and gave me pain, so it was good to see her taking on the physical risk.

Today I took Daisy to school, ran home and packed a picnic lunch, and then took her after school for a picnic with Gigi and Alex, friends from her class. It was very fun. We hit tennis balls around on a court that we had all to ourselves, and then the kids played their version of Duck, Duck, Goose, which involved all three of them jumping up every time and chasing each other all over the tennis court. Then they played at the adjoining playground for awhile before we went home. Daisy was so exhausted that she has actually been in bed since 7.

But other than my attempt to garner your sympathy with my descriptions of what a tireless mama I am, the really big news from the last few days is that Daisy has been growing in leaps and bounds in terms of her physical development--gross motor skills, that is. This is where she is significantly delayed, according to the OT. He said she was roughly at the gross motor level of a child 2 years, 10 months when she was 3 years, 6 months. She had still not climbed a real ladder, although she climbs up very short rope ladders and those kind of sloping, domed things with footholds. But at the Discovery Museum on Sunday, she climbed far up a real ladder, AND, more impressively, climbed DOWN: now that I think about it, that's the part that had never happened before. She has climbed very short ladders and then taken a slide down. With this contraption at the Discovery Museum, there was no way down except climbing back down the same ladder you went up.

Also, later that day she climbed a sort of rock-climbing wall thing at the playground in Fairfax. I am convinced at this point that she is strong enough and coordinated enough to do these things but is afraid of heights; when she gets too far off the ground, she expresses fear and comes back down. What made me happiest is that she was joyful about both tasks, repeating them over and over again with great enjoyment. I know I need to push her from time to time, but I really prefer to see her taking pleasure in whatever the physical activity is.

She's been doing better with taking her own clothes off and on, too. So... little by little.