Prefaced with an apology
I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but... this morning, zombie-like with exhaustion as usual, I found myself thinking about how much sleep I will be able to get eventually, when I am on my deathbed.
posted by Sarah Goss at 11:50 AM
9 Comments:
Hee! I was thinking the SAME thing the other day. Not in that I-wish-I-were-dead kind of way ... but just as a point of fact.
Of course, if we came back as zombies, we wouldn't really get ANY sleep with all that skulking around AND we'd smell like death ... so it wouldn't be much different than being alive really (not that I smell but my apartment probably does as its been AGES since I've been able to clean it).
Sigh. Poor us. Poor zombies. Zzzzzombies.
One summer, I had two restaurant jobs, one during the breakfast shift in a business hotel (5-10 am), and the other working the dinner shift at (forgive me) Shenanigans (5-12). Both jobs were in Portland, and I was living with my parents in Battleground, about 40 minutes north. On my endless commutes, I used to dream about nudging my parent's car into a ditch, just because I would be able to sleep until the cops/tow truck came, and I knew no one would yell at me because they would be so happy I wasn't hurt in the accident. I imagine that is only a small fraction of how you feel these days?
Nah.
You'll be on your way to a meeting with your agent to sign the new movie deal for your best seller when the aliens will finally decide to make contact with Earth. Their space ship will have a malfunction and it will crash right on top of your car, squishing you like a bug!
Since the spaceship will come from directly above your car, you won't even get to see it before you are floating above and through it wondering when the hell you learned to fly! But sleep? Nope.
As soon as you get to your Final Reward(tm) they'll put you to work doing line edits on Holy Books for intelligent species on other planets. Since you'll no longer be "human" (whatever *that* was!) you won't NEED to sleep, and so you won't GET any... except every ten thousand years they will let you visit a new planet where you can do what you like, but by then, sleep will be just a distant memory instead of a habit and you won't bother.
My observation of people on their death beds is that they sleep fitfully at best.
I think your dad's answer is probably most to the point, but I did read in a book the other day, on the subject of baby-induced sleep deprivation, "NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THIS LEVEL OF PAIN AND SUFFERING."
Makes a gal want to run right out and reproduce.
Heh. Yep! Rational thought will not lead you to the decision to reproduce; it has to come from somewhere else, if it comes at all. And, "absolutely" on the unprecedented suffering of sleep deprivation. Ordinarily when one is sleep deprived for some reason, there comes a time when that reason fades and one gets the chance to catch up on the missed sleep. Not so with a baby. Alas. They have such chubby limbs, it's worth it. (Well, chubby limbs are just one of the things that make them worth it...there are also chubby wrists and cheeks, tiny sausage toes, and in Daisy's case, an amazing baby Mohawk.)
I am in total awe, grndexter...can I rent the movie after you finish making it? Or buy the novel?
Dear Linda-- Yes!!! That is it, exactly. I can tell you know just how I feel.
I owe you an email! :-( It will be coming soon.
Ha ha! I've been thinking the exact same thing lately, only mine is "I'll sleep when I'm dead", which is a Warren Zevon album title. It's also a Bon Jovi song, I think. Sounds like we're not the first people to have that thought :)
Lee
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