Daisy's first babysitter!

Contrary to what my last post implied, we have just made major headway in Daisy's life outside the family. She had her first babysitter this evening (yes, we are the epitome of lameness... it took us till she was three years old to actually hire a babysitter). It went really well. She did not cry or even look like she was going to cry when we left, and when we came home about two hours later, she seemed very happy. She did not want the babysitter to leave, seemed happy she'd be coming back sometime, and gave her a hug (unprompted by us!). So, I am very pleased right now, despite the fact that she's in her room babbling right now (9 PM) because I think the experience got her a bit jazzed up.

Separation anxiety?

Daisy seems to be entering another period in which it's difficult to be separated, though it's not anything like the baby separation anxiety. This seems more cerebral, somehow, and psychologically sophisticated--like she's deeply contemplating the concept of aloneness! My parents noticed it when Mark and I went away for a night for our 12-year anniversary (July 14); Daisy spent the night at their house and apparently she said a few times (calmly), "Why am I all alone, without my mother and father?" They said she wasn't upset, just interested. When we drove her home, she said to us, "I was all by myself, alone." I asked her if she had missed me, and she said yes. Then I asked if she had been sad, and she said, "No, because I was with Gommy and Gompy."

Tonight, though, she got big tears in her eyes at bedtime and was telling me, "There is a problem." I had only been away from her briefly that day--for maybe an hour and a half. After repeating "There is a problem" a few times, with these tears welling, she finally articulated, "The problem is that my mama goes away and leaves me all by myself." Mark was away that evening, and she also said later, "There is someone missing. It's Dada. The three of us are not together."

She really seems to be thinking it all over, processing it, instead of being overwhelmed and overtaken by it. At least she is able to talk about these feelings.

I think I have been somewhat irritable with her lately, so I also want to record her incredible sweetness when I put her to bed tonight. She asked me if I was going to come in later and check on her (I said yes), and then as I was turning out the light, she called, "I love you, Mama." She is the best!

Daisy is three years old

Daisy turned 3 on July 20. I am waiting to do an official post about it... but I will.

More on napping

This is the second day in a row that I've gotten Daisy to nap, after weeks of sporadic napping! I would say that for the past few weeks, she either hasn't napped at all and become seriously messed up by evening, or she's fallen asleep in the car and taken very brief naps (half an hour or 45 minutes) and then been pretty messed up by evening. Today, she got into her bed, I was able to leave her room, and she went to sleep in ten or fifteen minutes.

It worked the same way as yesterday, pretty much. This morning she slept till almost 7, but again started showing signs of tiredness by noon. We gave her an early lunch (11:30-ish) and then read books in the glider. She was in her bed by 12:30 and asleep by about 12:45. That is exactly what happened yesterday. So I think the universe is trying to tell me something: this kid needs a nap and it needs to happen earlier. I think the reason it was failing for so many days is that I was attempting the nap too late in the day. We'd have an action-packed morning, and I'd notice how tired she was around noon, but selfishly I'd just keep going, not wanting to go home and try for naps. I have never seen myself as that mom who would sacrifice fun daily events in order to stick to a schedule! But the problem is that Daisy was clearly deteriorating. She'd be exhausted, and I'd get her home at 2 or 3 and then try for a nap--and it would fail. The effects were cumulative, too. I was seeing dark circles under her eyes, I felt like she was waking up earlier than ever in the morning, and she seemed tired and grumpy even when she woke up in the morning. There was clearly something wrong.

So, dear me... I guess I've got to try to make this schedule happen, for at least as long as she seems to need it. Trying to be home by noon every day will be a bit of a bummer for me, since we've often enjoyed activities in the morning. But I can't ignore what I'm seeing here. She is sleeping for two hours, sometimes more, when she naps. She needs the rest. So I guess I'll try to be home by noon, or else I'll try to schedule more things to do in the afternoon when she wakes up. It will be quite a change from what I've been doing, but what I've been doing isn't working so great for Daisy. We'll see.

Oh, and also...

...I have to post this because it amuses me: yesterday Mark took Daisy out to eat at a restaurant and an eccentric old man gave her ten dollars for being cute. And people say children take money? I tell you, this child is profitable!

Napping

I have to post this because I am so pleased right now: after days and days (weeks?) of not being able to get Daisy to nap, I got Daisy to take a nap today. She's napping right now, and it happened in the best way possible; I read books to her, then she got into her big girl bed, and I left the room, and she went to sleep (after talking to herself for a little while).

I would not be insistent on Daisy taking a nap if I thought she didn't need one. I know some kids have given up naps at her age. However, I think those kids sleep longer at night (Daisy has been waking up at six every morning, regardless of when she goes to bed or whether or not she naps). She is clearly tired, yawning all morning, has dark circles under her eyes, and gets cranky and deteriorates as the day goes by. It is obvious to us that she either has to sleep longer at night or take a nap. Ten hours of nighttime sleep is good but isn't fully cutting it. She is exhausted. It shows.

The hard part is realizing that in order for the nap to work, it has to occur earlier in the day. If we wait as late as two to have her get into bed, it seems that it's too late and she's too amped up to fall asleep--even though she is tired. We notice that, actually, she gets pretty sleepy around 12. If she's going to nap, we need to seize the moment and get her into bed around then. So today, I carefully orchestrated our day. We played all morning at hone and had an early lunch, around 11:30. I was reading books to her by 12. She was in bed by 12:30. And she went to sleep!

Sooo... this is kind of a bummer for me because I like to do things with friends in the morning, and Daisy does, too. But when we do things out in the world, we tend to get home later and miss this window of opportunity for a nap. I am so torn. I would find it painful to give up morning activities just to ensure that she is home and napping by 12:30 (which means, realistically, being home by noon at the latest in order to start winding down with books and getting ready for the nap). But I have to admit: this is good for her. She needs rest and she needs to be less tired.

I guess the solution is going to be to find a compromise... maybe spend more days at home, or go out with friends in the morning and try to be home earlier. This is going to be hard when preschool starts; I'll have to whisk her home for a nap. On the bright side, perhaps this will free up more of the afternoon to see friends and do activities. If she's up by 2 or 2:30, there will still be time for fun.

Random Updates Post

1. Daisy is in her big girl bed right now, reading to herself and not napping. Hmmm. I am not quite sure what to do. She definitely still needs naps and becomes outrageously cranky by dinnertime if she hasn't had one. But we obviously can't force her to go to sleep. So this may end up being "quiet time," even though it's not very quiet-- I can hear her reading emphatically to herself.

2. Daisy will be three this month. I can hardly believe it.

3. Synesthesia update: today in the car, Daisy was talking about a song "that starts out pink and then gets yellow." She always says this about this particular song. Mark was with us when the song played and she said that, and he pointed out that the song changes keys right when Daisy says that. ???? Could it be? I, of course, would love to think that Daisy has some innate musicality by which she senses key changes, and on top of that has this synesthesia gift where she sees colors with particular keys... that would be cool. But it seems too early to declare it. (Also cute: we saw a kite flying at the beach as we were driving and she said, "That kite is glorious!")

Just overheard

Daisy is playing pretend with her Colorforms, and one of them just said sternly to the other, "If you won’t eat your dinner, I will have to take it away and give you dessert first."