Mamas cry? Well yes. Yes, they do.

Things had been going so well with Daisy, and I hadn't even jinxed myself by writing about it on this blog! She had not had anything like a meltdown in awhile, and was being charming and lovable and happy every day. And then... today. She had a complete fit at the playground, screaming very loudly, crying, not letting other kids play with her sand toys (for some reason--usually she is pretty good about sharing). It turned out she's getting a cold, so I'm hoping that explains the behavior at least partly. When she gets like this, her knees turn to Jello and she refuses to walk, so I had to carry her back to the car, screaming, also holding my backpack, a plastic bag with her potty seat, and a wagon full of sand toys (on the way TO the playground, she had pulled the wagon and walked, so it wasn't nearly so hard). Every few feet one of the sand toys went clattering to the ground, and I'd have to stop, lower her down, and pick the thing up-- so I've probably done permanent damage to my back, on top of all the fun. It was a very painful morning, especially since I was dying to join my friends and their kids on their way to go get pizza. I was the only one having to leave, dragging my tantrummer off in disgrace. It was the worst feeling.

I was holding the feelings in so much that after I finally got back to the car--the longest short walk ever, with stopping every few feet to pick up something I'd dropped--I burst into tears in front of Daisy. She stopped her meltdown and got very serious, asking me, "Mamas cry?"

She seemed fine for the rest of the day and I tried to cheer up by going, with Mark and Daisy, to USF's coffee house/hangout to hear some students read poetry. One of my students was going to be reading, and I thought it would be neat to support the students doing this, since we've heard that USF's campus doesn't have as much of a campus life as could be desired. Anyway, that was really fun, and I enjoyed hearing my student read. I think I am a little better. But Daisy said, loudly, at least 400 times, "Mama, did you cry today? Mama, did you cry today? Mama, did you cry today?" So I guess now, possibly, some of my students know that I cried today.

So it was a hard day today. And to think that just last night, this little darling was lying in her crib, batting her long eyelashes at us, and saying with a big smile on her face, "Everybody loves me!"