Me vs. sinus infection

I have had a bad cold for the past week or so. Or, I don't know what it is, really. At points I had a fever, but not a very high one, and aches and pains. My main symptoms, though, have been a lot of congestion and a bad cough. I was waiting it out, hoping not to have to see a doctor, but two nights ago I had a staggeringly bad sinus headache when I tried to go to sleep at night. I took some Tylenol and was able to get to sleep, but last night I had another sinus headache that made the memory of the first one a sheer delight. It felt like the right side of my face was being crushed. The pain was so bad it seemed like it was in the bones themselves-- as I told the doctor today, I was almost certain I had face cancer (she laughed at me). Every time I started to drift off to sleep, I sat straight up in bed with a feeling like someone was pressing the right half of my face down into my brain, suffocating me. I finally had to give up and go sit in the living room in the middle of the night.

The worst part was that painkillers did NOTHING to this agony. I tried four Motrin--nothing. Three extra-strength Tylenol, an antihistamine--nothing. I had taken Tylenol Severe Cold Medicine and nothing happened, so I doubled the dose of that and added a cold compress to my face and finally was able to go to sleep at about 3:30 in the morning.

Anyway, I went to the doctor today and I now have some nice antibiotics, a nasal spray, and some Vicodin for the pain. That's a good thing, because I feel it coming back as we speak (it has been much worse at night). Now let's hope I get better, because I have two weeks of the semester left--a little less, actually--and many major projects due, including an oral presentation on Tuesday.

Daisy vs. viral pneumonia

(Written on Wednesday, November 25)

I took Daisy for a checkup on Monday and the doctor felt she wasn't getting better. She diagnosed viral pneumonia and prescribed an additional inhaler with a steroid. So now she is on TWO inhalers. A weird thing about the appointment was that Daisy slept through the whole thing, like a limp rag... not like my daughter at all to do that! Before the appointment, I held her over the toilet for peeing, too, and she slept through that. Then the appointment, and being poked and prodded by the doctor: temperature, stethoscope, oxygen reading, etc. I know she's not herself when she sleeps through all of that!

The doctor wasn't too happy about her oxygen reading, and I guess that can partially explain why she's so tired. The other reason is probably just that she isn't sleeping so well at night, with her cough and the blockages to her breathing. Anyway, we have another appointment next Monday to see if the steroid inhaler has made her any better. Because the pneumonia is viral, not bacterial, there are no antibiotics or other medicine to treat her with. So we just have to hope her body fights it off and she gets better soon.

In the meantime, the doctor okayed her for school. She is not contagious, she said, because she's been sick for 4 weeks and has no fever. I am trying to get her out of the house at least a little, though if the physical exertion gets to be too much, she tends to have a coughing fit and then throw up. So, MODERATE exercise is what we're aiming for. The last time she threw up was on Mark's birthday, at the table in the restaurant! It was quite a hairy scene. I am sure the other patrons loved it. There were massive volumes of barf coming out. I am proud to say that I cleaned up the whole mess by myself, not leaving anything for the staff other than disinfecting the area (but of course, we left a huge tip).

This blog also needs to record that today Daisy and I met Lars Ulrich and his son at one of our local play destinations. When I first saw Lars, mingling amongst the masses of parents, I thought it was someone I knew-- probably a parent of some child we know. I started combing through my mental image bank to try to place the face. Finally I decided I was wrong and that I didn't know him. And then... somehow, a few minutes later, it clicked into place. Then I heard him speak and I knew it was him (Danish accent, plus very distinctive way of speaking that I recognized). Sad to say, I did NOT say anything to him but tried politely to pretend I didn't recognize him... yeah. My thought was he's out as an ordinary parent, trying to have fun with his child, and he doesn't need fans bothering him. I noticed that no one else seemed to be bothering him, either, and I assume at least some people must have recognized him. I have the feeling San Franciscans are pretty cool customers about celebrities. When I saw Maria Shriver in Angelina's Deli once, everyone in the place recognized her but no one bothered her.

So I'm not sure I can call this a "meeting," as I would my Crist Novoselic meeting, because I never actually acknowledged that I knew who he was. But it was neat. His cute little son and Daisy played together for a little while and Daisy engaged Lars in conversation. He was very nice and I liked the way he spoke to her: totally grownup and direct, taking her seriously. Sometimes adults don't know what to do when Daisy comes up and starts talking to them with all her voluminous words, some of them making sense and some of them not, and I have seen them look baffled and not respond to her. But not Lars Ulrich! They really figured a few things out in their conversation. He is good with kids. He seems like a great dad, too, very much engaged with his child and making things fun.

That makes two Metallica sightings for me, since I also saw Kirk Hammett on Clement Street once. This time, I was 99% positive it was Lars Ulrich but when I got home I googled the name I'd heard him calling the little boy and confirmed he does have a son, between two and three, by that name. Later I asked Daisy if she knew the man she talked to today was a famous drummer. She was as cool as a cucumber, saying, "Yes, I know that. He's a very good drummer." (Ha-- she had no idea. She IS listening to REO Speedwagon right now, though, and she's invented a special dance for "Roll with the Changes" that involves rolling her hands and arms in circles.)

Daisy seemed to do pretty well, but we didn't stay too long. I didn't want her to overdo it. On the drive home, we got stuck for about 45 minutes on the Golden Gate Bridge because of some horrible 5-car accident. I had to do my yoga breathing because I started getting nervous, being stuck in one place on the bridge and really feeling the way it vibrates. I discovered (hahaha) that it is much harder to do that kind of breathing when you are actually panicking, as opposed to just practicing in your spare time.

Snippets of Daisy stories

Snippets overheard from Daisy, who is flipping through a booklet and making up stories. Warning: they really don't make any sense. Daisy does this trippy free association when she flips through blank books (or sometimes, instructional booklets). Well, here is the transcript. I recorded exactly what she said--grammar errors and all. EDIT: Okay, I think I understand now where some of this craziness was coming from. The booklet she was looking through had pictures of cakes and balloons, and she was mixing in lines from a few of her new books (the references to "be gone" and some other things...).

“Be gone,” said the cake. Then, a jiggling mouse bounced in. “Be gone!” No one noticed till a knock, knock, knock on the door. Then, Cousin James walked into the room. Actually, the door said, “No!” Well, you had to not pop balloons at your doors. Don’t pop balloons-—no. And that’s why the cake had a friend.

“You made a big mess on the floor. I have to clean it up with the broom. I’ll be right back. I’m going to get the broom and sweep up the big mess.” Just before the coach came by, riding by with the king and queen. Now it’s time for the poached egg story, Mommy.”

[Here is the story Daisy told me was called "Poached Eggs"]

One day, the cake was waiting for the king just before the leaves fell down. I fall in winter time. He tried to put the leaf right next to the ground. The coach was finally there with the king sitting on locks and windows and doors, sitting all alone. And the king was just about to open the door when a thousand hundred things happened. Just before the magic started. And the magic started just before the race called out and said, “Majesty! Come back!” The daylight had been gone. It is just the right thing. The popped balloons… One day there was a cake that waited for some poached eggs to serve. Not so long ago, her name was Sheek. Though Sheekawilla made lovely, toasty vanilla-chocolate ice cream cones, it would be a surprise for him. But next day, the wind was just blowing the door, the cupboards open and shut, open and shut. So he shutted the door and just sat down for a minute. Not so fast, not so far. It landed right up in the sky. Just before it went up, just a little bit, not so much, not so far. (Whispering) It goes really far. Just before the race, the crackers… but a curious thing just happened. (Whispering so I can’t hear) They just floated up….

This is called Up and Down

Dino was so excited. The big party would start, but the big "trammay" (it means a "coach") wasn't going through the door. It stays outside and then it's going to leave. First it was up. Then it was down. Then it just stayed there, just not the magic potion. Not so far, not so deep. It is so high. So it just moved. A leaf just fell down and they tried to put it down, but no. So, the Big Trammay just stayed down from the door, and then it left. Then they made poached egg soup, and all the different kinds of kids came over to celebrate his birthday. The popping balloons just floated up, not so far. Then it landed down with a plop, just before the race started. All right, ninas! [Yes, the Spanish word, pronounced correctly.]

Daisy's new words

I don't mean English words, though. Daisy has been inventing words lately, and they are shockingly creative. A couple days ago she coined "millitit," which is some kind of a wooden toy. (There was more to it than that, but I had a hard time following). This morning she came up with "evincil channers." !!!! It is pronounced "e-VIN-sil CHAN-ners." It refers to a little rubber Winnie the Pooh and a rubber porpoise of the same size. So far, she has explained the difference between millitits and evincil channers is that millitits are LARGER, but that's all I've been able to grasp.

Tough times

Daisy is pretty sick. She had a bad cough for a few weeks, and I was starting to worry because it didn't seem to be getting any better. It was a very congested-sounding cough, way down deep in the chest. But I hadn't gotten *too* worried because she didn't have a fever. She would cough for an hour or more at night, though, and was having a hard time getting rest. Then she started vomiting, on Sunday I guess it was, at the Rossi Playground while we were also taking care of our friends' baby. That night she vomited again, in her sleep, and on the advice of the Kaiser advice line, we decided to take her to the doctor the next day.

As it turns out, the doctor told us she has viral bronchitis and that she has a wheeze and is having trouble breathing, which is a definite reason to take your child in. I feel like a bit of a failure, because I'd had the thought that her breathing had sounded labored but had not allowed myself to believe it. Anyway, though, our doctor said it was good we brought her in when we did because the problem would have only gotten worse and worse till a real breathing crisis finally brought us to the doctor. She prescribed us an inhaler with a contraption attached to it--a spacer, I think it's called. Because Daisy is so little and can't use an inhaler properly, we have to put a mask over her face and administer 3 puffs of Albuterol every four hours. She has to take ten breaths for each puff. We have a follow-up in a week to see if her breathing gets better. I can really hear it now, the labored breathing, especially following a coughing fit.

Then, today while I was at class, she vomited again and then broke out in rash all over her ankles, legs, and backside--big red itchy welts. She just really seems to be in bad shape, falling apart on all levels. Luckily, I think we've gotten the rash under control. The advice line said to give her children's Benadryl, and the rash seemed to improve a lot afterward.

I am worried, though. She can't seem to hold anything in her stomach; she can't sleep well because her cough wakes her up; she is having trouble breathing, and I'm concerned that she might develop some kind of chronic asthma-like condition out of it. Daisy's health is of course my top priority, and all else seems relatively insignificant when she is unwell, but an added stress is that it's hard for me to get work done for my graduate program when all this is going on. We spent hours with the doctor yesterday, figuring out what was wrong, waiting for prescriptions to be filled, and then getting instructions on how to use the inhaler. Everyone's pretty wiped out here and worried about Daisy.

Daisy's Day

On our way to ballet class

At ballet class

Horsing around at Garden House Cafe after ballet class

Then going to the Conservatory of Flowers, at Daze's request


Sitting in big tree outside Conservatory of Flowers

Bad day

Please don't worry. It just was one.

Good day

I actually remembered my camera today, but the batteries died. So it is not my fault that I have no record of today's fun. I wish I did, though. There was no school today, so I took Daisy to Carol Wei's Monday ballet class. Afterward, she specifically requested "tofu" (!), so I took her to a Japanese restaurant on Balboa. You should have seen this child slurping seaweed (which she calls "spinach," but that's fine). Then we picked up our neighbors and good friends Robyn and Eli and we drove to the Hyde Street Pier. The kids had so much fun running all over and exploring the old ships--the Balclutha and the Eureka. At the end we bought them ice cream sundaes in Ghirardelli Square and went home. It was quite a day.

Daisy always refers to Eli as her brother, and when she saw him today from the car window she declared, "Eli is very cute." She also told me her classmate Nate "is a very exciting boy" (after a fun time spent with him at a birthday party on Sunday). She has been saying all kinds of funny and interesting things lately, and I am far behind in recording it all. When we left the birthday party, she was riding on Mark's shoulders and Nate said he would like to ride on Daisy's shoulders; Daisy said, "That would make me very happy."

I have noticed her drawing a lot of connections between books and real life in ways that seem advanced to me... for example, I had told her a bit about the story of The Wizard of Oz, and she asked repeatedly about what happens to the bad witch (melting). After a pause she said, "You know, sometimes I am not very nice." (She often says, "You know" and "Because.") And she mentioned a specific incident from over a week ago in which she knew she hadn't been very nice. I realized she was drawing a connection between the wicked witch's punishment and her own not-nice side! She said she would try harder to be nice, but I tried to reassure her that she wouldn't melt if she wasn't nice and also that people, unlike some characters in books, are never all good or all bad. I hope that helped.

Last gasp of Halloween

I forgot to post pictures of our various jack-o-lanterns and other pumpkin friends. So here they are, belatedly.

Not to be cruel, but there was just something not quite right about Mark's jack-o-lantern. He reminded me of a picked-on kid at school (and thus, I loved him all the more).

My pumpkin(far left), on the other hand, was really surprisingly mean-looking. I hacked away at him with a very blunt instrument, and he came out looking like a seasoned prizefighter. I guess that says a lot.

Yeah... and in case you were wondering, they were moldy after ONE DAY. Don't get the idea that I let them sit around for weeks or anything.

Practical Life

I have been trying to encourage Daisy to engage in more of the "practical life" activities that are at the heart of the Montessori curriculum... apparently she hasn't displayed much interest in this area yet at school. She loves the book nook, of course, but she also seems drawn to the Math/Sensory area, and today in fact she told me that was her "favorite." She's done some painting, too, in the arts section. But, apparently practical life is neglected. So I've been having her help in the kitchen more, and she seems pretty enthusiastic. She actually helps me with dishes.

Today Giuliana, one of Daisy's teachers, gave me the treat of getting to stay a little longer (past 8:30, the parent kick-out time) in the classroom. I was thrilled, because I know I've been guilty of overstaying in the class and I've been pretty sure it's frowned upon. There was even a little note attached to the Friday Packet mentioning Oak Room parents staying too long, and I was positive I was one of the people that was meant for. So, I was pleasantly surprised when Giuliana said I could stay for a bit this morning and watch Daisy do some "work" (as they call it in Montessori).

It was delightful! She went and unrolled a mat, which is what they're supposed to do; I noticed how impatient I felt seeing how slowly Daisy unrolled and flattened hers, and how tempted I was to show her the "right" way to do it. Giuliana pointed out the importance of being patient and letting her do it her own way, and sure enough, she succeeded in time. Then Giuliana showed me something she and Daisy have been working on. First, Daisy goes and fetches some pretty heavy wooden blocks from the shelf and carries them back to her mat. Giuliana told me this lifting and carrying was a Practical Life activity, even though it wasn't occurring in that particular section of the room. Some of the blocks were quite heavy, and Daisy dropped one, but she was able to pick it up and carry it over to the mat. Then, one by one, she went back and fetched all the others and lined them up in order of size, like a staircase. I was impressed by Daisy's ability to stay focused on the task and to see it through to completion without much (or any, actually) egging on by me or the teacher.

When the blocks were all lined up, Daisy got a marble (the last part of the activity), placed it just so, and it traveled down the wooden staircase, striking a different musical note with each block. A simple thing, but quite lovely, and I saw how the fine motor skill of placing the marble in just the right place was cultivated. I think it also takes some fine motor skills to line the blocks up just right so they make the staircase. So Montessori, the whole thing: simple, seemingly, without a lot of bells and whistles, but with a lot of levels and areas cultivated, and rather beautiful. I was so proud to see my girl doing her work, and to have some glimpse into her day.

Oh, and there's one other thing I got out of it. Two boys came over and sat close to Daisy's mat while she was doing her activity, and I guess they were talking, not very loudly or anything. Nevertheless, Daisy told them a couple times to be quieter and to back off of her area. I thought this was kind of unpleasant, and I turned to Giuliana and asked, "What do you do when this happens?" She said, "We watch." They don't do anything, in other words, unless really necessary-- and no action was necessary, Giuliana thought. She told me it was good for Daisy to be asserting how she felt, even though yes, it could have been phrased more nicely (with pleases or excuse mes). She was in favor of me not leaping in to squash what Daisy was saying, and she felt it was okay for Daisy to need quiet and to want space to do her task. I really appreciated getting this perspective from Giuliana, because I think I can be too quick to jump in and correct Daisy for not being what I think of as polite or accommodating enough. It worries me that I might be squashing her assertive side, but I don't always know if I should intervene. I appreciate learning from Daisy's teachers about patience, about observing rather than intervening all the time, and about letting Daisy create some boundaries and space for herself instead of perpetually training her to give others what they want. That doesn't mean, of course, that I should stop wanting her to be polite and considerate, thoughtful of others-- but maybe I should be allowing her a little more assertiveness. I think I worry too much about her being a "good girl" and socially skilled. These things are important, but so are other things.

As I've mentioned in other places... my girl loves math activities! How about that?

Split lip

Today (the day after Halloween), Daisy tripped over her gommy's foot on the sidewalk and split open her lip. There was a lot of blood, and her lip is swollen, but it seems like no serious damage was done--thank God, since she already has one broken tooth. I called Kaiser and they wanted me to bring her in anyway; they said they take facial injuries very seriously and they want to make absolutely sure it's okay. So they booked an appointment for her at the Minor Injuries Clinic. She was amazingly brave and good at the doctor's office and chatted up a storm with the nurse and doctor. This was on no nap, too. I was a very proud mama. The doctor prescribed POPSICLES to keep the swelling down; hooray!

I almost can't believe how stoical Daisy has been at the doctor and dentist. After waiting in line for an hour and a half the other evening for her swine flu vaccine, she did not cry one single tear when she finally got it. No protests, no crying. She just took the shot without a word (her expression changed a little, but that was it), and then asked for her sticker. Unfortunately, they were out of them by that time.

Gommy couldn't stop saying how much more stoical Daisy is than she was as a girl. But Gommy says I, Daisy's mother, was also quite a stoic. Clearly, I am still the essence of stoicism (hahahahaha).

Halloween pictures

The swan getting ready for an evening of Halloween festivities


Rocker Dada and Swan Baby

Witch Mama and Swan Baby

There are never any pictures of me, since I'm the one taking them, so I put in another one for good measure. The other day Daisy said to me, "Mama, how come you weren't there?" (We were looking at pictures of some event.) I explained that I WAS there, behind the camera, but it made me sad. She's going to have photo albums full of pictures without Mama in them and it seems like I wasn't there. So... here are a few of me, to make up for the previous absence.

Our neighbor Robyn had the great idea of having trick or treating in our apartment building; she gave out pumpkin stickers and those who wanted to participate stuck them on their doors. Lots of people had them up, so there were a lot of doors to knock on (among six floors).

The witch and the swan trick or treating in our apartment building!

More trick or treating in our apartment building

Our wonderful neighbors: Robyn, Eli, Vincent, Fia

On our way out for more trick or treating and the "Haunting" House (as Daze called it last year)

Headed to the Halloween parade and Haunted House in Sausalito

Catching up with the Halloween parade

Swan police on patrol

Halloween friends--we found Chilali and Eden at the parade in Sausalito