De-Pantsed
Today at school--while on duty at the library Writing Center--my pants fell off. It was very traumatizing. I was wearing a pair of too-big pants, true: some hand-me-down jeans from my cousin's pregnancy. They don't fit me yet but they were comfortable and roomy and I thought all would be well because I was wearing a belt. Unfortunately, the belt *broke* in the middle of the day, while I was in the ladies' room. The pants would remain up only if I did NOT MOVE. I made my way back from the bathroom by tying my sweater around my waist and making some surreptitious hiking-up gestures as I walked; with every step, the pants slid a little farther down. From my chair at the Writing Center, I called Mark on my cell phone, at all three of his numbers: work, home, and cell. It was that kind of emergency. "Mark," I said in a fervent whisper, "I can't speak in a normal voice because I'm in the library. Please come as quickly as you can, and bring pants."
He mercifully called me back about fifteen minutes later and agreed to come to the library with my pants. I instructed him on how to find a pair that fits me, not an easy matter these days since most of my pants are either too small or too big. He brought them to me within the hour. That is a kind husband for you-- he saves you when you are unexpectedly de-pantsed in a university library.
He mercifully called me back about fifteen minutes later and agreed to come to the library with my pants. I instructed him on how to find a pair that fits me, not an easy matter these days since most of my pants are either too small or too big. He brought them to me within the hour. That is a kind husband for you-- he saves you when you are unexpectedly de-pantsed in a university library.
posted by Sarah Goss at 8:41 PM
7 Comments:
Poor Sarah! And Heroic Mark to the rescue! I suspect this experience will become woven into tales for your future daughter... ("look what you made me go through!"). Glad you didn't have to scuttle around for too long without proper pants.
Mark said I made him look like a knight in shining armor...though I don't remember any of the stories being about the knight bringing the girl a pair of pants. :-)
Wow, that is a most amusing mental picture. Did Mark think you pooped yourself? And is de-pantsed a word? And do we need to start buying your suspenders and overalls?
I think I coined "de-pantsed"; I hope so, because I was very pleased with myself. Luckily, I think Mark knew why I needed new pants, since he had seen me struggling with them in the morning and trying to find a belt. This is such an awkward stage for me: too big for my old pants, not big enough yet for the hand-me-down maternity pants folks have given me.
Sarah,
Unfortunately you did not coin "de-pants." How do I know this?
On the Simpsons episode in which Apu is fired from his job at the Kwik-E-Mart, he goes to live with the Simpsons. Marge -- unintentionally opening Apu's wound -- asks him if he would like to go the Kwik-E-Mart to shop. Apu responds that he cannot go, as the Kwik-E-Mart is the "site of [his] spiritual de-pantsing."
Oh. Great. An inadvertent Simpsons reference. Thanks a lot, honey :-)
PS
I guess that gross spousal thing is happening where we turn into each other (since YOU are always the one littering your conversation with Simpsons references!). Are you chuckling at my expense? I guess I got some geek points, at least.
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