Another List

a) I am already becoming an obnoxiously partial parent. Whatever she is doing, no matter what it is, I find myself thinking, "Wow, that must be, like, the best way any baby has done it, ever. It must be unprecedented in the annals of fetus-dom." If she's moving a lot, I think, "Cool, she is feisty. I'll bet other people's babies aren't so feisty." Or, if she's sitting totally still, I think, "She is going to be a thinker, with a long attention span and deep reflections, like me. I'll bet other people's babies aren't so deep." I don't understand why the doctors who've given me sonograms haven't thrown their hands in the air, gasping with awe, and summoned every other doctor into the room, exclaiming, "You guys really need to see this!"

b) I took two gender prediction quizzes online and they both said I'd be having a girl. One was the Chinese Gender Chart, which simply declared "Girl," and the other was a series of questions based on different gender prediction myths. It had questions like, "Do you crave oranges? Are you having headaches? Do you pick up a mug by the handle or by its body? Do you refuse to eat the heel of a bread or prefer it?" (I could go on--the questions were really insane). Anyway, this utterly bizarre test gave me 83% odds I was having a girl. Why am I taking gender prediction test when I already know it's a girl? I do not know.

c) Das Unheimliche: This is a marzipan baby!! It totally blows my mind. I wonder if anyone actually eats him, on a cake or something... I do not think I could. He is a baby; yet he is almond paste. Try to understand.