Baby's First Rush Concert
...well, not exactly. Last night, the baby went to hear her father sing in a Rush tribute band called the Rush Project. I'm not sure what she thought of it; she began kicking a lot during "Working Man" so I think she might have some incipient Marxist tendencies. I sat in the corner holding four sweaters wrapped around my stomach so as to muffle the sound. A hippie lady in back of me informed me that loud music could not harm the baby--only my ATTITUDE toward the loud music could. Apparently if my attitude toward the music is good, the baby will not get hearing damage. Since I seemed to have a bad attitude, though, maybe some damage was done? There was a pregnant woman at the show with a much better atittude than mine, because she was dancing in the front row. I was very impressed, though not up for the same thing.
I saw a man in a T-shirt that read, "Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes" and took notes on him on my secret pad for a future short story in which I need obvious signs that someone is a big ass.
I saw a man in a T-shirt that read, "Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes" and took notes on him on my secret pad for a future short story in which I need obvious signs that someone is a big ass.
posted by Sarah Goss at 8:08 PM
19 Comments:
So here's the thing about babies and loud music. How well would you have been able to hear that concert if you had been underwater?
OK, as usual, I spoke too soon. My wife, who knows more about these things than I do, informs me that babies actually hear underwater better than we do (because they lack the air bubbles in their ears which insulate us land-dwelling creatures from underwater noise). Water conducts sound extremely well -- so well, in fact, that the normal noise your body makes is very much amplified for a baby. Your heartbeat sounds like a bass drum to her. The point being that all babies deal with extremely high levels of noise in the normal course of things, and they turn out fine. So a little extra Rush concert shouldn't be a problem.
That's so funny; I went through the same exact process of thought. First I thought, "She's underwater, she can't hear a thing." Then I remembered reading somewhere that they can hear all of MY bodily functions extra-loudly due to being inside me. Then I wasn't sure whether that made it more okay to go to a concert, or less okay (because maybe she was getting noise overload). No one seems to think it's too big a deal for me to go occasionally to a concert, so that's a great relief--I just wonder how often would be considered "occasional," you know?
So I asked my mom about the loud noise thing last night and she seemed to think it would be best not to push it with the sound. She added that what she would tell her patients is that during the last 4 to 5 months of pregnancy, trust your gut with questions about your body. If there's a hint of "no," go with that.
Keep in mind that my mom often tells ME to trust my "no" instincts as well, and rarely do I listen to her ... and my development seems to have progressed quite, um, normally ...
Living in the limelight the universal dream la la la
Hee hee. I hardly know any Rush lyrics, other than the ones from that silly "Free Will" song (that I think of as "Free Willy"). This is the entire extent of my knowledge of Rush: "You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide, you STILL have made a choice!" Wrap your teensy weensy minds around THAT one. No, actually, Mark had me listen to a few more songs before the Rush show so I would know more of it...so now I know "The Trees" song where, uh, either the Oaks or Maples are communists, and the other trees are...capitalists? Something like that. Oh well. And Mark showed me an album called "Hemispheres" where on the cover, some dude was walking around on a brain. A BRAIN.
Okay, Mark just told me the Maples are the proletariat (so they're the big commies) and the Oaks are the bourgeoisie. Or something. We can't divide our complex class system into just two.
Maples are COMMIES. Big fat COMMIES.
I'm a Rush fan via my brother because that was, like, his FAVORITE band growing up (he had a HUGE silkscreen print of one of the album covers on his bedroom wall). "The Trees" was the only song I really liked back then. My brother always said that was a good choice.
Yeah... Mark just told me that that's actually not an obscure Rush song but a well-known one... weeeelll, they're all kind of obscure to me, except for "Free Will" and that "Tom Sawyer" one. And "Closer to the Heart" and "Limelight." Hmmmm... come to think of it, I know a bunch of Rush songs, 'cause I'm also familiar with "The Spirit of Radio" and "Working Man."
"The Trees" -- metaphor for Canadian politics?
You be the judge. Our lines are open.
I read that it snowed in SF this week. Did it really?
I'm so terribly sorry that you've been subjected to "The Trees." Its reputation precedes it and when I finally heard it one day (on KALX of all the weird things) I simply couldn't believe how aesthetically abominable it truly is...Neil Peart may go to Drummer Heaven but he's gonna burn in Poet Hell if I have anything to say about it...pheugh. Say, that reminds me--here's a relatively obscure drummer joke that y'all might enjoy:
How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five--one to do it and four to stand around talking about how neil Peart would've done it better.
Hi Melissa! Glad yer back :-)
It snowed just outside San Francisco, but not IN the city proper, unless I am much mistaken. Wahhhh. I miss snow.
"The Trees" just cracks me up... can't help it. Communism, Canadian politics--whatever the allegory, is is so beautifully heavy-handed and dreadful, I've got to love it. Also love the Neil Peart joke. Mark says there's a similar joke about guitarists, apparently.
I am now inspired to post more Rush lyrics....
Heh --
Q. How do you know the drum riser is level?
A. The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
(And, in the interest of fair play, because I'm a bass player ...)
Q. What is the difference between an electric guitar and an electric bass?
A. The bass burns longer.
Here's the "guitarist" joke:
How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three -- one to change the light bulb and two to look on and say, "I can do that!"
I think this only applies to flashy metal guitarists (myself included).
I thought Neil Peart was pretty deep when I was 13 -- stopped thinking that when I was... well, later than it should have been, but it was a while ago. "The Trees" is pretty bad (though for me it has a certain unintended kitsch value -- did I spell "kitsch" right?), but I'm not sure it's the worst of Peart's lyrics -- I bet recovering Rush fans can think of even bigger howlers, though those who weren't big Rush fans could probably not imagine such a thing..:-). Paradoxically, I think "The Trees" is so memorable because it so perfectly realizes what was wrong with Rush lyrics. It's consistent and crafted in a way that other Rush lyrics aren't, but that's precisely what makes it so funny -- it's consistently and perfectly bad and stupid.
I really love the drummer jokes, Matt--probably even a little more than I should! And thank you for adding the guitarist joke, Mark. I feel like backtracking about "The Trees" to add, I thought it was a very pretty song musically (the lyrics are just funny)... I enjoy listening to it. I do appreciate it, both ironically and non-ironically. It's this superpower I have where my ironometer can be both on and off at the same time. I really can appreciate things fully and giggle at them in the same exact moment. (And I do that to plenty of songs I discovered on my own, too.)
Well, since I seem to've started something, I guess I may as well continue--if not finish--it...
(BTW, most of the really cruel drummer jokes I know came from an interview with Chris Mars, former drummer from the Replacements and one hell of a painter these days)
Q: What does a drummer get on an IQ test?
A: Drool
Have you heard about the band who had to cancel a show because they accidentally locked the keys in the car with the drummer?
Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer
Blah blah blah...to even things out a bit:
Q: How many [singers/guitarists] does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One--he just holds it still while the universe revolves around him.
My favorite bass player joke:
A guy goes on vacation to a tropical island and is somewhat irked that on his first night he can't sleep because of the incessant drumming of the local tribe. Imagine how much more so he is when the next night he is again kept up 'til dawn by the relentless drumming. On the third night it's the same story, and he is so fed up after a few sleepless hours that he goes off in search of the source of the noise to complain. When he finds the drummers he walks up to the nearest person he sees and asks,
"Do they really have to do this all night?" To which he receives the reply,
"Yes--as soon as they stop, the bass solo starts."
And one equal-opportunity joke to send us off with a bang (a slightly salty one--apologies for the off-color language):
Q: What does a hooker do with her asshole before she goes to work?
A: She drops him off at band practice.
Oh my God...thank you, Michael. I had a hard evening and now I am laughing and little tears are coming down... mainly because of the joke about the singer/guitarist who holds the lightbulb still while the universe revolves around him. Oh God, hee hee hee... if you have more drummer jokes, please send them. (I loved the bass player joke, but it seems to me we could just substitute a drum solo for the bass solo... though I am not sure what the relentless noise would then be.)
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