Weird sick person
My last post on being sick made me think about what a bad sick person I am. I always feel as though, if only I were a better, worthier person, I would not be sick. Or, the voices in my head tell me I am not really sick, just a big self-pitying whiner. I'm going to have to go ahead and blame this on my family. Dad had a lot of mantras about the evils of self-pity, toughen up, mind over matter, etc. I know it's a crazy way to be, so I fight against it, but all the years of programming make it hard. Mark can attest that when I got bad burns, it took me hours and hours to agree to go to the hospital because I was so determined to overcome them with the powers of my mind. Ha ha.
On the other hand, when I first got pregnant, I thought I was coming down with every single symptom I read about in my book. The worst was when I read about “excessive salivation.” It had not occurred to me that I was salivating excessively, but after I read that this was a common pregnancy symptom, I began focusing on my saliva. Concentrating on it, it did start to seem excessive. I started to focus on swallowing, and it seemed as though I was swallowing almost constantly. I began keeping a tissue box next to the couch so I could spit out some of the excess saliva instead of having to keep swallowing all the time. It seemed like I had to spit every three seconds. The thing is, I am not really sure I WAS salivating excessively, just becoming more conscious of my normal salivation.
When I first starting getting nausea from pregnancy, I was pretty sure it was a “mind over matter” situation. I was sure I only thought I was nauseated because I had read about it, just as the excessive salivation was probably a figment of my imagination. I castigated myself for being so weak as to think I was nauseated. I was sure I was going to be one of those transcendent women who never feel sick during pregnancy. But then the barfing convinced me that something physical was truly happening that could not be overcome simply by the powers of my mind. So did the fainting. The jury is still out on excessive salivation and stretch marks (I think those may just be marks from the lining of my underwear).
On the other hand, when I first got pregnant, I thought I was coming down with every single symptom I read about in my book. The worst was when I read about “excessive salivation.” It had not occurred to me that I was salivating excessively, but after I read that this was a common pregnancy symptom, I began focusing on my saliva. Concentrating on it, it did start to seem excessive. I started to focus on swallowing, and it seemed as though I was swallowing almost constantly. I began keeping a tissue box next to the couch so I could spit out some of the excess saliva instead of having to keep swallowing all the time. It seemed like I had to spit every three seconds. The thing is, I am not really sure I WAS salivating excessively, just becoming more conscious of my normal salivation.
When I first starting getting nausea from pregnancy, I was pretty sure it was a “mind over matter” situation. I was sure I only thought I was nauseated because I had read about it, just as the excessive salivation was probably a figment of my imagination. I castigated myself for being so weak as to think I was nauseated. I was sure I was going to be one of those transcendent women who never feel sick during pregnancy. But then the barfing convinced me that something physical was truly happening that could not be overcome simply by the powers of my mind. So did the fainting. The jury is still out on excessive salivation and stretch marks (I think those may just be marks from the lining of my underwear).
posted by Sarah Goss at 1:31 PM
6 Comments:
Now you've got ME convinced I'm salivating too much.
I think you pinpointed the issue, though -- focusing on anything makes it seem more significant than it actually is.
Feel better. We're all sick over here too. It's baby Charlie's turn today.
Matt, does Kae have any good homeopathic, non-pregnancy-harming cold remedies I could try? Help!!
Well, CLEARLY, it's all your fault, because if you were a righteous(tm), God(tm)fearing, Christian(tm) mother(tm), Our American Lord would not have smitten thee with a pestilence.
It really scares me sometimes how easily I can put myself into aping a fundamentalist mode...
Let us all swallow now...
yes, sometimes it is not good to have too much information! Immediately upon reading your post I feel my mouth flooding with saliva... which of course is perfectly normal but feels weirdly abnormal when one thinks about it!
Ooh, I had no idea I could affect people this way. You can do the same thing to yourself by trying to think consciously about breathing.
Er, Bill... what brought this on??
It's probably a submerged remnant of my Roman Catholic upbringing. Be glad you weren't raised in a religious household...
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