A big milestone

Daisy rolled all the way over, from her back to her stomach, yesterday night, and then repeated it two more times. It was so weird-looking, not at all the graceful acrobatics I had imagined. She'd been rolling over on her right side, but she couldn't figure out how to get the right arm out that was trapped underneath her. Then, on Monday, I noticed her sort of rubbing her face in the carpet as she turned on her side. Then she'd flop back on her back, some carpet fuzz and cat hair now attached to the drool on her face. It was pa-thetic! Then, yesterday (Tuesday) she finally made it. Again she rolled on her right side and pressed her face in the carpet, but somehow, this time she got her right arm out and popped up on her stomach, looking totally nonchalant, like she did this every day of the week. It was awesome.

Of course, now we have a slight problem. Every time I put her down on the floor, she rolls over. But once on her stomach, she becomes unhappy very quickly and moans. She can't figure out how to get back on her back. So I put her back on her back...and she flips over. This could get old.

I am also worried about her flipping over on her face at night in the bassinet. Can she do this in her sleep sack, does anyone know? I'm thinking she couldn't manage it, because the sleep sack traps her legs. But who knows.

Grrreat! A new thing to worry about in my neurotic way.

Thank you, Deb!

Thanks to Deb, there is now a brief little Daisy film online at
http://blog.debtjoa.com/?p=235
You can see her chomping on her fist...this is what she does now. MASSIVE drooling accompanies the chomping. But she seems like she's in less pain than before.

PS

It may be awhile till I can post new pictures of Daisy, so in the meantime, if you haven't yet, please look at the adorable picture Mark posted, because it's one of my very favorites, ever:

http://mundanemark.blogspot.com/2006/11/my-daughter-rules.html

Weeee-haw

I have a new computer! We'll have to take it in to the repair place to have all my data from the old computer transferred, so I won't be able to use it for a bit, but I feel great.

And just to make the day complete, a gentleman named Willis Butz has contacted me with information on how I can be a "hero in bed." Could things be any better?

Pretty good day

Daisy slept for 9 straight hours last night and took a nap today that lasted 2.5 hours (her naps are usually half an hour). Today she was largely unfussy and did lots of babbling, which had pretty much stopped during the worst of the gum discomfort. It almost seemed like she was regressing, because she had been doing so much talking before the gum stuff started. She seemed happy pretty much all day and I am feeling a lot better physically.

So: I am noticing how closely linked to the baby's moods mine end up being. On a good day, I feel like a great mom and on top of the world. On a day when she's cranky, it's the opposite. Instead of getting all cocky today and thinking, "Wow, what a great baby. Wow, what great mothering I'm doing," I am going to remember how quickly things can change and be modest and tentative. I hope the gods will realize this and not smite us down with more baby teething agonies...at least not before I have a chance to rest and regroup so I can handle them more beautifully and gracefully.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Glow Worm

I love Glow Worm. Thank you, Cousin Rache.

A good day

I had a good day. I thought I should announce it, because I realized I am only writing to my blog when I am cranky, thus giving the impression that I am always cranky.

I thought I should also clarify: I didn't mean to suggest that anyone gave me poor advice (those moms who said 3 months was a time when things get easier). I can absolutely see why people say that, and it seems true for most of the other moms in my group. I am starting to think that I was spoiled for the first 3 months by having an abnormally non-fussy baby. This is the first real problem that I've had with her (other than the not sleeping, which I've viewed as normal). Also, it was just a dumb question. Of course, whether things get easier or not depends upon what troubles your baby has. The babies who had colic (or some milder variation on colic) have gotten "easier" since they hit 3 months; the non-colicky babies, like Daisy, have gotten fussier since they hit teething troubles. And I know some babies don't start those symptoms till later. So--every baby is different, and it was a dumb question which points to some flaws in the way I've been approaching this mothering business, imagining these artificial thresholds she'd cross instead of just going with the flow.

Daisy had her 4-month pediatrician's appointment yesterday and the doctors seemed convinced that she was totally normal and healthy, so I'm guessing and hoping this fussiness is not caused by anything too terrible and that it will ebb and flow. It should also be noted that she did not cry when she got her vaccines this time, astonishingly enough to me.

The other thing that makes me happy lately relates to our old apartment building, where we felt harassed and disliked by the managers, made to feel like we were troublesome and unwelcome in the building, even though we were really good tenants, in all honesty. They gave us a hard time because our cats occasionally walked across the floor, their toenails clicking, apparently disrupting the totally insane woman who lived below us (even after we covered almost every inch of our floor with thick rugs, too). Anyway, Mark has bumped into several of our old neighbors since we moved and they each reported that the guy who moved into our old apartment is a TOTAL nightmare who has loud, alarming S & M relations each night and saws furniture at 3 AM, causing other people in the building to call the police.

Ha. Ha ha. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Question

Okay, I've got to ask the experienced parents this question. It's just this: people told me, probably just trying to save me from plunging into despair in the very beginning, that things get easier with a baby at 3 months. But this is not what has happened. Is that bizarre, or has it been anyone else's experience? I would say, thus far, that things were easiest at maybe 2.5 months, up until even maybe the end of the third month or a little past then. But for the last 3 weeks or so, it has been really, really, really hard. A lot harder than before. Daisy will be 4 months tomorrow, and I think in some ways it's been the hardest month, largely because of this teething business. She drools; she chomps her fist and moans. MOANS. She actually moans a large part of every day. While she's moaning, she's drooling and shoving her hands in her mouth and writhing. Sometimes she gets so worked up she can only be soothed by one of us walking with her in the sling till she finally gets exhausted and falls asleep. It's terribly painful to watch. There have been many days when I spent the WHOLE day simply trying to distract her from her gum pain. And nothing I've tried seems to work: teething rings, wet washcloths, homeopathic remedies, Baby Tylenol, even Baby Orajel. Or they'll work but only very, very briefly, and then back to the same.

So I am wondering if this has been anyone else's experience. Did anyone else think things were actually *harder* at this point, or am I pretty much alone in this? And, er, when did it get better? Because it's been about 3 weeks of fussing, and it's so tiring and draining and frustrating. Before the gum stuff started, she was a tranquil, happy baby, too. I am so sad for her. What next??

The Bath

As a measure of how far we've come since I wrote this (a post relating the woes and hardships of giving Daisy a bath)--
http://sarahgossblog.blogspot.com/2006/08/two-milestones-written-last-week.html

--I have grown SOOO very skillful at giving her a bath that she actually fell asleep in the middle of it today. And her hair was totally wet at the time, too.

Daisy is a complicated little person. Yes, I know, Matt warned me--he said exactly what I am about to say now--but who can BELIEVE anyone before it happens to them?: I had all these things figured out about Daisy, and our routine was beautiful and seamless, and now... it is all gone. All the stuff that worked no longer works. She spits out the pacifier. She HATES the car seat and the stroller. And she does not sleep a wink in the car.

We drove to Monterey this weekend for Mark's birthday, and let me assure you that she was wide awake all the way down, even though we were up to beautifully lulling speeds on the freeway, and wide awake all the way back. Not only was she awake, she was bored, which meant she was fussy. The one thing that helps every time is Glow Worm. Have you seen this bizarre little creature? My cousin Rachel gave it to me and I wouldn't have guessed it, but this thing's a godsend (thank you, Rache). Glow Worm is a strange little doll with huge eyes and a plastic face that turns red and glows when you press his (her??) stomach; then, as a series of baby songs plays, the glow gradually fades from his face till he's just plastic again. He is SO weird, and Daisy ADORES him.

So, in the car, she'd start to fuss, and I would stick Glow Worm in front of her and play his tunes, and she'd calm down again. But I had to do it over and over and over and over and over and over again. For, like, two hours. Now, the tunes are in my head, probably permanently. I will need to have them surgically removed. I hope they invent a laser beam that can do it so I don't have to have open-brain surgery.

I must say to any parents-to-be who may be reading this, you need Glow Worm. Get Glow Worm. Go to the store and purchase Glow Worm. Put Glow Worm on your registry. Do what it takes, but obtain Glow Worm, at all costs. He/she may save YOU on a two-hour trip someday, too. And don't hate him because he's weird, with disproportionate facial features and an eerie glow and plays the same six songs over and over and over and over again. He is your baby's bestest friend--take it from me.

Physical Pain

Owwwwww.
That summarizes my life at the moment. I wish I could say more, but "Ow" pretty much covers it. I know I need to go to the doctor, but I hate going to the doctor, especially when it is going to involve probing at intimate areas of my body.

I will hope to be a better friend/relative/correspondent soon, when some of this pain subsides. And if it doesn't subside, then all I will be able to say when I talk to anyone is OW.

Popping up briefly

This pop-up will be brief because I'm using Mark's computer. Mine continues to be defunct. I am not sure when we'll be able to get me another.

Sadly, I can't post pictures of Daisy till I get my hard drive back, safely installed on another computer. Will a picture of her dressed as an eggplant still be diverting in, say, January?

I have been going through something of a hard time lately. I have had a lot of physical problems recently, too personal and icky to go into here, some related to the aftermath of Daisy's delivery. Around the time my body started having its meltdown, Daisy seems to have hit some particularly bad gum pain and stopped sleeping as well as she had been. So I've been struggling with feeling particularly unwell and with sleep deprivation.

I've been having a hard time remembering why I found the Baby Voice so cute and charming before. I used to love all her sounds, so much that I'd call myself while I was playing with her and record her sounds on my voicemail so I could listen to them over and over again. Now... well, let's just say the Baby Voice seems to recognize one, and only one, level of urgency: extremely urgent. There is a particular high-pitched fussy screech Daisy makes that, well, I could live without hearing again. I have been trying to teach her new sounds, ones that emulate the kinds of noises you'd hear on a Relaxation tape: babbling brook, cows lowing, ocean waves lapping, gentle breeze stirring trees.... It will be a happy day in my life if Babbling Brook can be made to replace Urgent, High-Pitched Shriek.

It's kind of sad; over the last few weeks I've been making notes of things about Daisy I want to ask the pediatrican about, and today I glanced over the frighteningly long list and it did not paint the most flattering portrait of my daughter. It said, in no particular order:

"Fidgeting, moaning, drooling, fist-chomping, fussing, wiggling, constant eye-rubbing, irritability, not sleeping."

Well, I could also talk about the adorable little dimply smile and her new laugh (which sounds exactly like "HA!"), but I am too grumpy right now. Maybe some other time :-)

R.I.P. Computer

My computer's demise is official. The repair place told me that it will cost a fortune to repair it--there's something wrong with the motherboard--and that I might as well buy a new computer. Who knows when I'll have time, or money, to do that. So I hope those of you with whom I tend to chat over email are reading this, and will understand why I may be missing from email for awhile... I can still check from time to time, but it depends on when I can use Mark's computer (which he needs most of the time). So it's all a big pain.

While I have the opportunity, here is a brief update:

I am doing okay.
-I enjoyed dressing Daisy as an eggplant on Halloween.
-I have a back injury from carrying her in the bjorn and had to take one of my mega-powerful Cesarean section painkillers to deal with it today.
-Daisy slept for 11 hours uninterrupted last night, in the bassinet. We'll see if she can do it again, but I am trying not to jinx myself by counting on it. Apparently I am now programmed to wake up every two hours, regardless of what Daisy is doing, because I still didn't sleep well.
-I am reluctant to go back to work in January. It feels like all I can handle, being a mother and trying to prevent our home from degenerating into utter mess. I honestly do not understand how other women do it. It is that simple: I do not understand. I can't help feeling loserly. Then again, a lot of things make it tougher (like the two flights of stairs that separate me from the washer and drier in our building).
--I like the fall.

I hope to be back in finer form, and more able to do email, when I manage to get a new computer!